Axl: Look, I know it's hard for you to show your feelings 'cause of, you know, the way you were raised. You don't like to be vulnerable. And let's face it, apologizing is a very vulnerable thing to do, but even though you never say you're sorry, I mean, you show it in other ways.
Mike: Yeah. Well, we're getting away from the point. And the point is that we've got a flooded basement and you're out getting yourself a burger.
Axl: Well, actually, I was getting everybody burgers.
Mike: Oh? [looks in bags] Oh. Well, that was nice. But it doesn't change the fact that you should've come down and helped...
Axl: A lot sooner? Yeah, you're right. I should have. I realized that when I was standing in line at the burger place plotting about what I could get out of you guys. And I look up, I see the deep-fried family feed bag for $5.99, and I'm thinking, you'd probably buy us that, right? I mean, 'cause you're always thinking about us and whether we need fried things. Anyway, that's why I got everybody dinner. That's also why I picked up a wet vac 'cause I thought that might make the clean-up a little easier. But you're right, I should have been more mature, but I guess I just got wrapped up in myself.
Mike: Yeah. Well, good, you should... work on that.

Sue: [gasps] Oh, my God! Dad had a moustache?
Frankie: Oh, yeah. You can let that one float away. Hey, listen, thanks for the help. You know, I was hoping that instead of forcing you down here, you would choose to come, and you did.
Sue: Well, I think sometimes it's better if we just come to it on our own, you know? Instead of all the yelling.
Frankie: Yeah, I guess I have resorted to yelling a little. It's just that a lot of times things get so crazy and busy, and... and I just get frazzled.
Sue: Well, it seems like... and this is just what I've observed over the years... but, you know, you say that you're always busy and you don't have time and you don't like how crazy everything is, but maybe you do kind of like the drama 'cause all the craziness distracts you from feeling the feelings that you may not be entirely comfortable with.
Frankie: Oh. Well, I...
Sue: And I think if you just slowed down a little bit and took care of yourself, then things wouldn't have to build up and burst all at once. It's kind of like these old rusty pipes. If you just took care of things on a daily basis, then you wouldn't have to freak out when things feel like they're flooding down on you.
Frankie: Well, thank you. That's a lot to chew on.
Sue: Mom, are you crying?
Frankie: [voice breaking] Maybe. Don't say anything to your dad.

Frankie: [gasps] That's the sound it made right before my half-shower this morning.
Mike: Okay, here we go.
Frankie: Whoo! Come on, baby. Mama needs some s'ghetti! [pipes groan] [water rushes] We should probably go down there.
Mike: Or we could never go down there again.

Brick: Mom, I need your help.
Frankie: Not a great time right now, Brick.
Brick: I need to turn in my history paper online by 9:00, and that's in five minutes. Mom? Mom?! Are you even listening to me?
Frankie: No, Brick, I'm really not. Kind of in the middle of something here.
Mike: [o.s.] Frankie!
Brick: But the website isn't letting me turn it in. It's 50% of my grade.
Frankie: Yeah, well, 50% of the basement is under water, Brick, so you're gonna have to figure it out yourself. What?!

Frankie: [v.o.] People always say a new day brings new hope. People are wrong.
Frankie: Where do you want this? [box splits open]
Mike: There's good.
Frankie: Hey, Brick, did you e-mail your teacher and tell her what happened with your history paper?
Brick: Oh, I read it wrong. Turns out the paper's not due till 9:00 P.M. Tuesday.

Frankie: Hey, I didn't know you guys were coming home. Your dad and I were just...
Axl: Save it. I don't want to hear about your weird role playing.
Sue: Brick texted us. He said there's some kind of a situation.
Mike: Yeah, there's definitely a situation.
Axl: Well, we're here to help.
[As Frankie and Mike turn and head to the basement, Axl, Sue and Brick walk towards the family room]
Frankie: Wait, I don't think we're talking about the same situation.
Mike: What's going on?
Axl: I think this is more of a family room conversation.
Sue: Yeah.

Frankie: We have to be better.
Mike: Ugh.
Frankie: No, I'm serious. Our kids came to us and expressed concern in a mature and articulate way, and we have to respond in kind by role modeling good behavior. I think we should apologize to them.
Mike: We've been married for over 20 years. I think we should get a free pass on having a little dust-up.
Frankie: Come on, Mike. Let's show our kids we're better. Let's show them we're big enough to admit when we're wrong. [Mike sighs] Does that mean you think I'm right?

Axl: [laughs]
Brick: What are laughing at?
Axl: Guy just threw a boomerang and hit himself in the junk. You?
Brick: Charlie Rose just said something pithy.
Axl: Oh, yeah.

Mike: We're going clockwise.
Frankie: My clockwise or your clockwise?
Mike: There's only one clockwise.
Frankie: Whatever, Big Ben, just tell me which way to go.

Sue: Oh, great, now we're eating ice cream sandwiches instead of going to Florida.
Axl: They're not even the full size. They're the cuties. 'Cause Mom's always thinking she's got to lose weight.
Brick: So what's the plan?
Axl: There is no plan. You blew it. The universe gave us a half a rat, and instead of a million-dollar settlement, we settled for a free bucket of chicken. We lost, and once again, Mom and Dad are the winners.