Axl: Well, those of us in the prime of life don't have time for this! Ugh! I got to get out of these church clothes. It's like fire on my body!
Sue: Yeah, look, I got to get home. I'm designing my senior page for the yearbook. I'm gonna have inspirational quotes in the corners and then my silhouette in the center of the page and then my name going down the side with a word for each letter.
Axl: S-u-e. "So ugly every day." You're welcome.
Sue: Mom!
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, Mike was feeling pretty good about Brick. And I was feeling pretty good about the triple Decker bacon burger I snagged on my way home. I'd been craving one since Mike wouldn't let us stop there during our lame Sunday-drive idea. Stupid integrity.
Frankie: I'm not hungry, so you guys are on your own for dinner!

Sue: All you ever do is think of yourself!
Axl: You already have like a gazillion pictures! Besides, high school doesn't even matter. Just wait till you get to college. That's what matters.
Sue: You always say that! You said it when I was in elementary school, you're saying it when I'm in high school. Apparently, whatever stage of life I'm in is the one that doesn't really matter! Mom, Axl drove back to campus and didn't bring back the sombrero!
Frankie: What? Axl, why would you go all the way up there and not get it?
Axl: Look, I am on my mid-semester break. I'm here to eat free food and have you do my laundry, not be harassed with all these demands! I went for a quick trip to get my Japanese throwing stars, and I forgot to look for the stupid sombrero!

Frankie: Okay, Sue, he forgot. Hey, why don't you guys wear sailor hats and sit on the cow? I'm sure Brad has a couple of those lying around. That would be funny.
Sue: Yeah, Brad's got like a hundred sailor hats. But tell me, how would that be funny? Sailor cow? Yeah, that makes sense.

Sue: I told him I needed that sombrero, but he doesn't listen! Mom, you know that is true. He never listens to me! [lunges at Axl]
Frankie: Okay, okay, okay! Axl, maybe you could go back up and get the hat. That would be a nice thing to do for your sister.
Axl: I'm not even sure I have it anymore, you mental case.
Sue: What? You lost the family sombrero?!
Axl: I don't know! Look, we were celebrating Cinco de February and it might have been used as a dip bowl.

Axl: Oh, my God, Mom, why is she being so nuts about this?
Frankie: You have to understand, Axl, this is Sue's senior year and it's really important to her. Maybe we could just find another sombrero.
Sue: But that's the one that means something to me! I can't just sit on the cow in a random sombrero!
Axl, think! Did Hutch put it somewhere?! Did you put it somewhere?! Did Kenny...
Axl: Shut up! Shut her up!
Frankie: Sue, just...
Sue: Oh, why are you taking his side?!
Frankie: I'm not! I understand you're upset!
Axl: Why are you taking her side?!
Frankie: I'm not taking her side. I'm just trying to...
Sue: Oh, Mom! Stop! Forget it. You don't get it.
Axl: Yeah, you really don't.

Frankie: Yeah, yeah, it's whack-a-mole, Mike. Oh, Brick's doing good, but the other two are ripping each other to shreds. When is it gonna end? Right now they're fighting over a sombrero. Next thing, they're fighting over our caskets. We're not gonna be around forever.
Mike: I'm hearing we won't be around to hear 'em fight.
Frankie: [sighs] This is serious, Mike. They're going to the same college next year. I mean, I'm sick of being in the middle and trying to defend everybody.
Mike: Well, who's in the wrong here?
Frankie: I don't know. Sue's being a little nutso about the hat. It's really not that big of a deal.
Mike: Okay. That's what you should have told Axl.
Frankie: What? No. No way.
Mike: Why not?
Frankie: [scoffs] Because you don't badmouth one kid to the other, Mike. You just don't.
Mike: I don't know. If you're just playing everybody's side, what good are you? If they're looking to you for an honest opinion, maybe it's not a bad idea to just give it. Might help them wrap it up faster. [Frankie sighs] Hey, you should listen to me. The kid I'm in charge of is on fire.

Frankie: Listen, I just wanted to talk to you about what went down before, about the whole sombrero thing.
Axl: Ugh, I am this close to finding a new place to do my laundry.
Frankie: Look, I just want you to know it may not seem like it, but I understand your frustration, okay? You know I love Sue with all my heart. But believe me, I am very aware that she can be a little... relentless.
Axl: Yes! Thank you!
Frankie: I know. She gets a hold of something, and she will not let it go. She's all, "Wah, wah, wah, it's my senior year! Let's have a weekly game night! You guys, we have to help Africa!" But that's just who she is. She's like an excited, confused puppy who's running in all directions, bumping into walls.
Axl: Finally! [chuckles] So, what do you want to do about it? Should we remove her from society, scoop out a part of her brain?
Frankie: Look, I get it. I know sometimes it can be very annoying for you, but you're two years older. So, maybe the next time she's being all Sue and getting on your nerves, you can just take a deep breath and let it roll off your back. Be the bigger person.
Axl: Yeah. I guess I could do that.

Sue: "Relentless"? You think I am relentless?!
Frankie: What are you talking about?
Sue: Axl said you said I'm relentless! Is that true? Did you say that, Mom? Did you really say that?
Frankie: W-w-well... Yes, but I was said it in a completely positive way, like "relentless" being strong and never giving up. There are so many people who are relentless... Hillary Clinton is relentless, Eleanor Roosevelt, relentless, that girl who got her arm bit off by a shark and is still surfing. How relentless is that? I mean, there are so many relentless heroes.
Sue: But there are better words to use than "relentless." There's "driven," there's "tenacious"...
Frankie: Really? You think "tenacious" is better than "relentless"? My grandma used to call me relentless all the time. "I love you, you're so relentless." I liked it. Oh, we'd laugh and have hot chocolate together. You want some hot chocolate?
Sue: Well, then how come you never said it to me, but you said it to Axl?
Frankie: 'Cause I say all kinds of things about you guys to each other. Did he also say I love you? 'Cause I also said I love you. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Frankie: Listen, Sue. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to Axl about you. It was just wrong, and I don't know why I did it. And I should have known better, 'cause the truth is, I love your brother, but he can be kind of a jackass.
Sue: Oh, thank you! Sometimes I think I am the only one that notices.
Frankie: Oh, no, trust me. We all notice. But the thing you have to remember is that even though you're younger, you're way more mature than he is. He's 20, but he can be a bit of a baby. But listen, we don't need to talk about it. Nobody needs to say anything. It'll be just something that we...
Sue: Axl, Mom thinks you're a jackass!
Axl: What?
Sue: Yeah. She just told me.
Frankie: Uh, uh, no. Here's the thing...
Axl: Well, did Mom tell you she said you were a dumb puppy?
Sue: [gasps] What?
Frankie: I didn't say "dumb." I said "excited and cute." Who doesn't want to be compared to a puppy?
Sue: Well, did mom tell you she called you a big baby?
Axl: Oh, yeah? I'm a baby? You're a baby!
Frankie: I said "a bit of a baby"! We should all strive to be more childlike. It's magical! [Axl's door slams] [Sue's door slams]