Frankie: I see myself as kind of a matchmaker for people and vehicles, and I just have a feeling about you and this little cutie. Why don't we take it for a test drive and...
Man: [over PA] Frankie, you have a call on line one. Your son's school is on line one.
Frankie: Hurt, or just in trouble? 'Cause if it's just in trouble, can call him back? [man sighs over PA]

Frankie: Feel that? Uh, take a left right here. Pretty smooth, huh? That's 150 horsepower. And did I tell you about our recession deals? Oh, get in the right lane and pull over, pull over, pull over! Brick. Brick. Get in, get in, get in! Brick, honey, how do you like those seats?
Brick: They're amazing. They also come with optional leather trim and preferred suede inserts.
Frankie: And if you buy today, I'll throw the inserts in for free.
Brick: Mom, are you crazy? That's a $600 value. [smiles]

Frankie: Okay, what teacher's meeting? I didn't even get a note.
[Brick removes a wet, chewed up piece of paper from his mouth]
Axl: Oh, my God, you're so weird.
Brick: Mom!
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.
Frankie: Yeah, well, from what I can tell, it is Monday. Okay, we both work Monday.
Brick: Sorry. [whispers] Sorry. [normal voice] Sorry.

Sue: Mom, Dad... Are you guys disappointed in me? You know, 'cause I never make anything?
Mike: Oh, sure I'm disappointed, hon. This is, like, the 12th thing you've tried out for. I mean, I love not having to go to the events.

Mrs. Rettig: Brick is a very quirky child... maybe clinically quirky, even.
Frankie: We have no idea what you mean.
Frankie: [v.o.] We knew exactly what she meant.
[flashback to Brick lowering his pants before he entered the boys' room]
[flashback to Mike and a group of kids singing Happy Birthday while Brick has his back turned and is reading a book]
[flashback to Brick grabbing his teacher's breast as he tries to get her attention:]
Brick: Mrs. Rettig. Mrs. Rettig, I want to tell you something funny I did the other day.

Frankie: Look, I would love to spend more time here, but I work. I'm at work right now.
[A man in the driver's seat of a red car twiddles his thumbs as he waits outside the elementary school]

Mrs. Rettig: Brick's a very bright boy, but we feel he could benefit from a series of more formal tests.
Frankie: Okay, look, Brick isn't your typical kid, but he is funny and sweet and probably a genius. Okay, so he doesn't fit into your cookie-cutter mold. But that doesn't mean that he needs fixing. Our oldest son had a completely pointed head until he was 6.
Mike: Like a candy corn.
Frankie: And so what, we got some funny looks when we took him to the mall? You know what we did about it? Nothing. And eventually, it just flattened out all on its own.
Mike: I think what we're trying to say here is, thanks for your concern, but our Brick doesn't need any special anything. He's fine.
Mrs. Rettig: Mmm-hmm. His best friend is his backpack.
Mike: I just hope he's weird enough that our insurance covers it.
Frankie: [to Mrs. Rettig] How happy are you with your car?

Frankie: [v.o.] First a busted dryer, now a busted kid. I needed to sell a car now more than ever. And if Ehlert caught me sneaking in and out, he'd nail my keister to his wall.
Pete: Well, Mr. Ehlert was looking for you, Frankie. Where you been?
Frankie: Here. Right here. Just, uh, working with this fine woman who's interested in this fine car.
Gail: Actually, I am interested in this car.
Frankie: Get outta town.
Gail: But I was just wondering if a convertible is too wild for me.
Frankie: Are you kidding me? Wild on the outside, but dependable on the inside. Yeah, you know what? I consider myself a matchmaker...
Man: [over PA] Frankie, call on line one.
Frankie: For people and vehicles...
Man: [over PA] It's your husband.
Frankie: And you look like the type of person...
Man: [over PA] He sounds pretty mad. He's at Axl's school. He needs you to go back and pick up Brick.
Frankie: Oh, come on! No, he is supposed to pick up Brick! Axl is at football until 5:00! Tell him to read his damn thermos!
Gail: Oh, look, look, I can always come back another day.
Frankie: No!
Gail: No, I'm a mom, too. I know what it's like. [Frankie hugs her]

Mike: Now you're suspended for three games? What the hell is the matter with you?
Frankie: What did he do?
Mike: He called his football coach a moron.
Axl: You always call him a moron.
Mike: He called for a bomb on fourth and one. You think you're some sort of a big shot just 'cause you play ball? Well, the smart-mouth attitude goes today.
Axl: Whatever.
Mike: That's it! Go to your room. No, wait. You like your room. Go to Sue's room! Moron.
Frankie: Damn it. If only he had, like, a car or a TV or a cell phone, something good we could take away from him.

Aunt Edie: Sue, I'm just so proud of you. I never thought you'd make anything. [removes a note from under her wig] Here's a dollar.
Sue: Thank you!