Frankie: [v.o.] No wonder my face looks the way it does. The Swingsation disaster got Sue kicked off crew. So when Brick said it was the day of his book report...
Brick: Today's the day of my book report.
Frankie: [v.o.] I was at the end of my rope. But what could I do? I was the no-show mom whose kid's best friend was his backpack. I put on my Spanx and went.
[later:]
Frankie: Anybody call for Superwoman? [chuckles]
Mrs. Rettig: Oh! That's next Monday. [the kids laugh as Brick shrugs his shoulders] Okay, okay, come on, back to the story.

Frankie: And the braking system... is just, like, so great. Because it, you know, like, it stops really well, and it's got this, I mean, integrated steering wheel that... That, like, you know, you turn it, and... And honk if people get in the way, and it just...
Gail: Frankie, are you okay? You seem a little... stressed.
Frankie: Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm perfect. Uh, where was I? Oh, the horn! You're going to love the horn. Listen to this.
[horn honks] Isn't that great? I am a matchmaker. Did I mention that? For people and, um, wait. [horn honks] See? Isn't that fabulous?
Gail: You know, I'm a mom, too. I know what it's like to balance work and kids. I've got three.
Frankie: I've got three, too.
Gail: Isn't it hard?
Frankie: [sobs] It's really hard. I'm just stretched so thin. I feel like I can't do anything right.
Gail: Oh, I know. Some days, I swear I just feel like getting in the car and driving and driving...
Frankie: Yeah.
Gail: And never coming back. Do you ever feel like that?
Frankie: Only every day! [both giggle]

Gail: Oh, what was that?
Frankie: What was what?
Gail: I think we hit something. Is something wrong with the car? Maybe you'd better check.
Frankie: No, I'm sure it's fine. [off her look] I... No... Yeah, no, no. I'll check. [gets out of the car] Yeah, I don't see anything. [Gail drives off] Hey!
Gail: Sorry! I got three kids in jail!
Frankie: What? No way! You're not gonna get away with this! I've got your license back at the office! Oh, I bet that's not even her real license. Yeah, the picture was too good.

Axl: Mom, don't worry about dinner, we made it. [hands over a takeout bag]
Frankie: Oh, you make it just like I do.

Frankie: Oh. I love you guys, you know?
Sue: We know, mom.
Frankie: Hey, how come you never tell me you love me?
Mike: I told I loved you the day I married you. If anything had changed, I'd let you know.

Frankie: [v.o.] So, yeah, back then on the old license, I didn't know what my life is gonna be, and Mike is right. Now I know this is my life. It's not gonna be in People Magazine or anything but you know what... I got it good.
Brick: You have a meeting with my gym teacher Friday. [whispers] Friday.
Axl: Knock it off, freak.
Brick: Mom.
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.
Axl: Dad.
Mike: Frankie.
Frankie: Axl. Wait. Who am I yelling at again?

Frankie: [v.o.] We're a 2-job family. Mike manages a bunch of boneheads down at the quarry. [explosion]
Mike: Oh, for cryin' out loud.
[Mike writes 0 on the "Number of days without a work-related injury" sign]

Frankie: [v.o.] And my latest job I'm too smart for is selling cars at Orson's last surviving car dealership.
Pete: What a month, huh? [clicks tongue]
Bob: Frankie, don't let him intimidate you. He may be the king of sales around here, but he's been rejected by the Elks Lodge twice. I'm not gonna say by who. It was me. [chuckles]
Frankie: Really?
Bob: I told them that he's a pedophile.
Frankie: No.
Bob: Yeah. He's not. He's not a pedophile. He's not.

Brick: At least you're still my hero.
Frankie: Aw, thanks, pal. I made dinner! [drops takeaway on the table]
Mike: Thank you.
Frankie: Sure.
Mike: [to Axl] Hey, underpants, you think you're too good for us? [Axl sighs]
Frankie: We are a family, and we are going to eat together as a family.

Frankie: Okay, quick, let's hear about everybody's day. Mine sucked. Next.
Sue: Well, ahem, I'm trying to decide what number I should do for my show choir audition.
Axl: Oh, my god.
Sue: What?
Axl: Does it really matter what song you pick? 'Cause there's no way you're gonna make it.
Sue: Mom!
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl. You know, your brother's just trying to say you should just choose whatever you want. Now me, I like a quick song. Quick. Leave 'em wantin' more. [Frankie murmurs agreeably]