Axl: Oh, no, no, no, no! Before I'm riding in any car that Sue's driving, we need to be very clear on the status of the death napkin.
Sue: Whoa! Why is it every time we get in the car we end up talking about Mom and Dad's will? It's written on a napkin, Axl. It'll never hold up in court.

Sue: I'm gonna go work on my Disney binder. Right now, it's 800 pages, but I think I should pare it down. Oh, by the way, we need more computer paper and glitter.

Brick: I'd like to revisit the whole not-visiting-my-girlfriend decision.
Frankie: Uh-huh.
Brick: I don't think you're quite getting what this means to me... emotionally, socially, in my development as a man. I mean, this is my first real relationship. Tanya and I have chatted every night for the last two months. Plus, I've kind of already promised her we're coming. So, what are you thinking?
Frankie: That I should know that my son's been online with a girl every night. Do they sell alcohol at Disney World? So many things.

Axl: Bam! Have a great summer. I'll hear you in September.
Frankie: Come on, Axl. The point is you did a great job, and we're proud of...
Axl: I'm sorry. Why are you talking to me? You're not allowed to talk to me.
Mike: [sighs] We're not going the whole summer without...
Axl: Ba-ba-ba-buh-buh. Save it for September 1st. I'll "B" in my room B'ing awesome. "B" -bye.

Sue: So, where am I on the driving rotation?
Frankie: Um... y-you're like the alternate in case we need you to drive.
Mike: But we won't.
Sue: But why?
Frankie: You're still kind of young.
Sue: Axl drove us to Hershey Park when he was my age. Besides, I'm the one who won us the trip. And you're saying you don't trust me enough to drive? You trusted me enough to leave my hand on that car for 24 hours. I peed a little bit in my pants. I deserve to drive.
Frankie: All right, fine, you can take my shift.

Frankie: Orlando! Come on, now! We're all falling back into our old bad habits. That's not gonna happen on this trip. That's negative thinking. We got to be positive, like winners. Sue is gonna drive, and everything is gonna be just fine.
[cut to the family clinging for life as Sue drives slowly on the highway:]
Mike: [horn blares] You can give it a little more gas, Sue. [Sue accelerates sharply]
Frankie: Maybe we can have Sue pull over, and we can get something to eat.
Axl: Yeah! So hungry!
Brick: Let's stop immediately.

Sue: Uh, okay, I'd like, uh, two number 2s and two number 3s, uh, one with cheese and...
Axl: Uh, I want the cheese fries.
Brick: No cheese for me. Just remember that.
Mike: Three number 3s.
Frankie: I'll order...
Sue: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Axl: Tell her I want the cheese fries! Jumbo size it!
Frankie: Let her order.
Sue: One number 2 and three number 3s...
Mike: Well, don't change it now.
Sue: And one number 4.
Axl: I want the cheeseburger. [overlapping chatter]
Brick: Maybe do a price check.
Sue: I-I can't... I can't have all of you yelling at me all at once! Okay, Mom. I see how that's annoying.
Mike: Here. Just give us five number 3s with cheese. Or, if it's easier for you, five unhappy meals.

Frankie: Hey. Look. They gave us extra fries. Orlando.

Frankie: Do her parents even know you broke up?
Brick: Hmm. Good question.
Frankie: Well, we're going in there, and you are gonna do the right thing. You're gonna look her in the eye and apologize to her face to face.
Axl: Whoa, whoa, whoa. He met this girl on the Internet? This is getting creepy.
Frankie: No, I talked to the mom.
Sue: No, Axl's right. This could be a complete catfish situation. How do you know the mom isn't the little girl?
Axl: Look, a grandpa could be the little girl. Well, I'm not going in there. I don't want to wake up without a kidney. I can just see the headline. "'B' student slain in hillbilly massacre. 'He was awesome, ' said friends."
Frankie: You're all being ridiculous. We're going in there, right, Mike?
Mike: Uh...

Sandy: Well, I'm sure you two have plenty to talk about. Tanya, why don't you go show Brick your dirt pile?
Axl: Don't dig too deep, Brick. God knows what could be under there.