‘Orlando’
Season 5, Episode 23 - Aired May 21, 2014
As Sue counts down the days until the Hecks go to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Brick begs his parents to take detour to North Carolina so he can meet his online girlfriend. Meanwhile, Axl is nervous to see his college grades posted after actually trying to be a good student for once.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: So, we're on our way to Disney World. I think I mentioned that on the phone. We won it. We don't normally take trips like that. We had a Disney jar, not that there was ever any money in it. Our washing machine doesn't work very well. [laughs nervously] Anyway... so, this is kind of awkward, right? I don't know if you know. Maybe you do. But the kids broke up last night.
Sandy: W-what do you mean? Tanya broke up with your son?
Frankie: Uh, well, no. Uh, not exactly. Brick... broke up with her.
Mike: There was a, uh... Jelly-Gate situation.
Sandy: So, your son dumped our daughter? Why'd y'all come here for then?
Frankie: We were already here, and... it was the... right thing to... do.
Sandy: Oh, so, you drove eight hours out of your way just to rub it in our faces. [laughs] I'm sorry. Y'all got to be up to something. No sane person drives hundreds of miles out of the way to meet a 12-year-old girl.
Mike: She's got a point.
Frankie: All right, just hold on. We were...
Sandy: I know what this is. Y'all show up out of nowhere. He don't even look like his picture. Y'all are catfishing us.
Quote from Frankie
Sandy: Get on out of here!
Phil: Get out!
Sandy: Yeah, that's right! Get off our property! You think you can come here and catfish us, you and your... your weird kid!
Frankie: We're not catfishing anybody. And we're not weird. We are decent people just trying to do the right thing! If anybody's catfishing, you're catfishing. We are not catfish people. We're Orlando people. Mike, let's go.
Mike: [whispers] I got to get in this side.
Frankie: What? No, I already slammed it.
Mike: But, Frankie, this is the only way in. Remember?
Frankie: Yeah. I said we weren't weird. Now it's getting weird. Just storm off. I'll pick you up on the corner.
Mike: It's weirder you driving and me walking!
Frankie: All right, all right! [loudly] I'm just letting him in. We're still storming off. Brick, let's go.
Tanya: Brick, wait. [kisses Brick] I-I'm glad you came.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, if you change your frame of mind, everything falls into place. Axl got all B's, Brick got his first kiss, and Sue... Well...
[Mike pulls the car over just in front of the "Welcome to Orlando" sign]
Axl: Wait. What are you doing?
Brick: What's going on?
Sue: Why are we stopping?
Mike: Get up here, Sue. Bring it home.
Sue: I don't know, Dad. I'll probably just drive us all into the sign.
Mike: Hey, you got this.
Quote from Frankie
Ticket Agent: Welcome to Disney World.
Frankie: Thank you.
Ticket Agent: [chuckles] Wait. Oh, no. I'm sorry. These tickets are for Disneyland in California. You do realize you're in Orlando.
Mike: Orlando.