Sue: Okay, so, now I just turn this. [sighs] Let's see, the lefty-righty-tighty-loosey.
Mike: Sue, we went over this.
Sue: I know! I just can't think when you're looming over me.
Frankie: Come on, Mike. Would you just help her?
Mike: I am helping her. I'm helping her by making her do it on her own.
Sue: I'm just not good under pressure!
Mike: Well, last time I checked, there weren't too many relaxing emergencies.
Sue: Ugh! [tire iron clanks] I can't get the lug nuts off! Please, just... was I supposed to take them off before I jacked up the car? Just nod if it's a yes! [Mike shrugs] [Sue screams]
Axl: Dad! Why are you doing this?! Just change the tire! Clearly, you've pawned Sue off on me at the perfect moment 'cause you are losing your mind. Sue, get in my car. We're going.
Mike: No, nobody talk to her. Nobody help her. She's got to learn how to do this.
Frankie: [sighs] Come on, Mike! This is pointless. I never learned to change a tire, and my life turned out fine.
Mike: Did it, Frankie? Did it?

Sue: You're not sad I'm leaving?
Frankie: What?! How can you say that? [voice breaking] I am so sad right now. I can't believe my little girl is leaving. [whimpers] Okay, fine. I'm not sad right now, but it's not because I love you any less than Axl. It's just because I've been through it all before. You'll see when you have kids.
Sue: [to Axl] This is all your fault! You just stole all Mom's emotions! You've been doing it your whole life! Every time I do something, it's already been done by you! You are just, like, one big, greedy emotion dustbuster sucking up all Mom's love! This is the worst college drop-off ever! This is nothing like how I pictured it!
Frankie: [sighs] Why not, Sue?! This seems to be the way we do it! You said you wanted the same as Axl, and here we are... fighting on the side of the road. So, congratulations! You got your wish! [metal creaks]

Mike: Damn it, she forgot the ice scraper. First big storm, and she's dead.
Frankie: Mike, she's gonna be fine.
Mike: [sighs] Maybe I should drive it up there just in case.
Frankie: Mike... You're gonna be fine.
Mike: This is a tough one, Frankie. It's my daughter.
Frankie: I know. [sighs] It's gonna be weird not having her here. The house is gonna be so quiet.
Mike: Hmm.
Frankie: But it is kind of nice when you think about it. Two kids in college, just you and me here in our empty nest.
Mike: Hmm. [chuckles]
Brick: Still here.

Frankie: [v.o.] Going to college is an exciting time for every kid, and no kid was more excited than Sue.
Sue: Yeah! Oh, I'm going to college!
Frankie: [v.o.] That was June.
Sue: Ohh. [sighs] Oh, my God. [chuckles] It's really happening. I'm going to college!
Frankie: [v.o.] That was July. [Sue laughs] And then, the day was finally here...
Sue: Eeeeee!
Frankie: [v.o.] One week until she was going to college.

Sue: I can't believe I have checks. Do you think I should sign them all now so they're ready when I need them?
Mike: [sighs] You're scaring me, Sue. I'll give you your checkbook when you prove you can balance ours.

Sue: Oh, my God. This is one of the last times I'm gonna walk past your door and say good night.
Frankie: Honey.
Sue: I'm just gonna miss you so much.
Frankie: Not a trillionth as much as I'm gonna miss you.
Sue: Aww! [both smooch] [Sue leaves]
Frankie: [to Mike] Nothing.
Mike: You're a monster.

Frankie: Okay, come on. Let's take a look. [sighs] I don't know what to tell you, Sue. I mean, you'd think cutting hair in the middle of the night with the poultry scissors would turn out better, but it's not working. You're just gonna have to either let it grow out or really chop it off.
Sue: But I can't cut my hair. My hair is part of my identity. It's what I play with when I'm nervous and sometimes chew on to taste my apple conditioner. My hair is who I am.
Mike: Yeah, that's a tough one. Let's ponder that while I teach you how to reset a circuit breaker.

Sue: Okay, everybody just be honest and tell me what you really think. [sighs] Ahhhhh...?
Frankie: Ohh!
Mike: Wow! Looks different.
Brick: I can see your neck.
Axl: I think you actually look a little less gross.
Sue: Really?! Thank you! You know, I-I-I-I was just in my room, and I knew I had to do something because Mom really just made it worse. I just took a deep breath, and I cut it off. And it worked. I feel like a whole new Sue. You know, maybe, when God burns off your hair, he opens a window.
Frankie: Ohh, you just look so... Grown-up.
Sue: Oh, mom. [sighs] I know this must be hard for you.
Frankie: [voice breaking] You have no idea.
[As Frankie hugs Sue, she gestures to Mike that she's feeling nothing]

Axl: You know, Brick, this is nice. The two of us should have broken away from the family years ago.
Brick: It is kind of peaceful.
Axl: Yeah.

Sue: [radio static crackles] [over radio] Hello? Over. Pick up, car 2. This is car 1. Over.
Axl: [snaps fingers] I already told you I don't want to do your stupid walkie-talkie thing, Sue.
Sue: [over radio] Axl, when we dropped you off at college for the first time, we were all in the same car. And since we can't be, this is the next best thing. Family communication is an essential part of the experience being the same. Now smile... I want to get a picture for my "Sue drop-off" collage.