‘Not Your Brother's Drop Off’
Season 7, Episode 1 - Aired September 23, 2015
Sue can barely contain her excitement as she gets ready to leave for college. Frankie tries to hide the fact she just isn't feeling emotional about Sue leaving, while Mike is making sure his daughter is ready for life in the real world. Meanwhile, Brick is surprised when his girlfriend Cindy tells him she wants to take their relationship to the "next level".
Quote from Mike
Mike: Hey, hey, you're not paying attention. Did you see the emergency phone at mile marker 43?
Sue: No.
Mike: You're dead.
Quote from Frankie
Sue: Okay, who wants to share their favorite Sue memory? Over.
Brick: [over radio] Not me. Over.
Sue: How about you, Mom? Do you think you can do it without crying?
Frankie: Oh, don't get me started. [chuckles] [sniffles]
Quote from Axl
Mike: Knots, people. I've been saying it all summer. Knots are very important.
Sue: It didn't happen because of my knot. It happened because of Axl's driving. Why'd you have to go so fast, Axl?
Axl: I am just preparing you for a lifetime of men who are gonna try to get away from you fast. You're welcome.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: Okay, the longer we stand here chatting, the longer it's gonna take us to get back on the road. So, Sue, you're up. Have at it.
Sue: Wait, what?
Frankie: Yeah, what?
Mike: Sue's gonna change the tire. If she does it the way I taught her, it shouldn't take long.
Frankie: [v.o.] It did. And we wouldn't be the Hecks unless...
Sue: There's no spare tire in there.
Frankie: Oh, crap. We gave it to Axl.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: Come on. This is her day. It's her first day of college.
Mike: No. She's got to learn.
Frankie: All right, you know what? Axl is right. You are going crazy. You know, if you learned to just express an emotion and tell your daughter that you loved her instead of making her shut off the gas lines and plunging toilets, we wouldn't be stranded on the side of the road right now.
Mike: I'm sorry. I guess you're the expert on emotions. Why don't you squeeze out a few more fake-o tears so Sue won't know you're not really sad about her leaving?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out, curling irons aren't the only thing you shouldn't buy at a garage sale. But on the bright side, Sue did get to use one of her newly acquired life skills.
Sue: Okay, that's $35 even. I just need to notate it in my ledger.
Tow Truck Guy: So, dropping your only daughter off at college, huh?
Frankie: [v.o.] Don't say it. Don't say it.
Tow Truck Guy: Must be a pretty emotional time for you.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] And then the moment I've been pretending to dread actually arrived. I dropped my only daughter off at college. Well, three hours later, we did. She really brought a lot of crap.