Frankie: Oh, Axl, can I ask you something? Now, I promise I won't judge you. This is a completely safe space. I'm just curious, as a parent, is there anything you would do differently from me when you have kids?
Axl: You are completely stubborn, and you refuse to listen to reason. [exits]
Frankie: Don't have to answer right away! Take your time and get back to me.

Frankie: Hey, kids, look... I'm finally organizing the junk drawers. It's never too late to get organized. And, hey, if you see anything you want to keep, you better grab it. Ugh. [sighs, laughs] Well, it's... oh, look, permission slip. Oh, which one of you missed the children's museum?
[Axl, Sue and Brick raise their hands]
Frankie: [sighs] Ugh. Gaudy bracelet from your dad. I hate turquoise. He has the worst taste in jewelry.

Brick: Are we seriously having another secret meeting in your room? There hasn't been one good idea generated in here.
Axl: Here's an idea... I'm out. I cannot go back to that store anymore. I'm just gonna make her something. [exits]
Sue: Axl, she doesn't want a buttronauts Mother's Day card. [sighs] Forget it. We don't need him. We just need a plan. I am gonna stay in here and make a list, and you go out and casually check to see if Mom has any candlestick holders.
[Brick goes to the kitchen:]
Brick: Mom, do we have any candlestick holders?
Frankie: Why? Do you need them for something? 'Cause I can get them. I don't want you not to have them if you really need them.

Frankie: [v.o.] So, it was one day before Mother's Day, and it was looking like another clunker.
Sue: [whispers] Oh, Brick, hey. Get in here. We need to talk about Mom's present.
Brick: No, you come here.
Sue: I don't want Mom to hear us.
Brick: She can't hear us in here, either.
Sue: All secret meetings happen in my room. That's just the way it is.

Dave: I think you click on the bear.
Mike: I tried that. It just keeps sending me to poems.
Jim: I like poems.
Dave: Ooh, right here, it says "tea service."
Mike: Oh, you would think that means serving tea, but I learned the hard way it just orders you pots and saucers.
Chuck: You know what every mama secretly wants for Mother's Day?
Mike: Hmm?
Chuck: To feel desired.
Mike: No. I think she just wants some tea and a good present.
Dave: You really shouldn't have waited till the last minute, Mike.
Mike: Yeah, thanks, Dave.

Jim: I can't figure out which Teddy bear is my favorite. I think it's Bearjamin Franklin.
Mike: Jim, would you cut that out? You're gonna make me click on the wrong thing.
Chuck: Tear out a page from the book of Chuck, boss man. Forget the tea... bathe her in champagne. And then take a strawberry, and you just...
Mike: I got it. Thanks. Hey, you know what? I think I click on this tiny sandwich, right? [all put on their glasses] Yeah, I think that's it.
Dave: That's the one.
Mike: Okay, yeah.
Dave: I would go with that, don't you think?
Mike: I'm gonna go for it.
Dave: Is that what you would do? I would do that.
Mike: I'm in. I'm going to tea!
Jim: We're going to tea! We're going to tea!

Pat: Oh, this is darling!
Frankie: Right? I know. I've always wanted to come here. We can thank Mike for making it happen. Seriously, this wipes away that breakfast in bed. Not that ham-frosting rolls weren't an idea worth trying, really.

Frankie: It's just, I-I was talking to Sue, and we were talking about how she should follow her dreams, 'cause you never told me to follow my dreams, and so...
Pat: Well, I'm sorry.
Frankie: No, that's not what I'm saying. That... That's not the point of my story. I asked Sue what she would do differently as a parent, 'cause I think we all have things we would do differently from our parents, and she said... certain things, and it just kind of ended up hurting my feelings. [sighs]
Pat: I guess I didn't realize you were so unhappy growing up.
Frankie: No! No, no! [chuckling] You're a great mom. You're the best. You were just very practical, and you didn't want me to get hurt.
Pat: Well, I don't know if I was "practical." I would say realistic.
Frankie: Fine. So, you didn't really encourage me to take risks, and so I told Sue that's what I would do differently as a parent.
Pat: I mean, I didn't realize I was holding you back so much.
Frankie: That's not what I'm saying!
Cashier: Oh. We have a table of six for the Heck party. [Frankie sighs]
Mike: I wouldn't call it a party.

Frankie: [whispers] I need your gift.
Sue: What? You want to open it right now?
Frankie: No, I don't have anything for Grandma. I forgot because I was so disorg... Because I just forgot, okay? It can happen to anybody!
Sue: But we got this for you. We had meetings. We made lists!
Frankie: Sue, I need this. She's talking cashmere sweaters with Janet.
Brick: Then we won't have a gift for you.
Frankie: You giving me a gift I can give to Grandma is my gift. Just give me the gift!

Mike: Finally.
Waitress: No, no. You have to let it steep.
Mike: [sighs]
Sue: No, Dad. You heard the rules.
Mike: What are they gonna do... throw me in tea jail? Maybe I'll get a meal there.