Frankie: Are you sure you can't find a cute cancan girl costume? I've always wanted to be a cancan girl, you know, with the feather and maybe a bottle of hooch?
Photographer: They're already put away. Look, I'm doing you a favor. I'm supposed to be closed already.
Mike: Sue, Axl, Brick, let's go!

Mike: Brick, you're supposed to be inside.
Brick: I needed a break from Arlo. You know, it was an interesting experiment, but I don't need a friend.

Mike: Hey, there she is. I found everybody, and we're ready to take that picture.
Frankie: It's over Mike. We already took it, and it's something mother and son's friend will treasure forever.

Frankie: You know what? Forget it. Let's just give up and go home.
Axl: Yes!
Mike: No way.
Axl: Why not? It's what she wants.
Mike: Excuse me. Ferris wheel's still up. How about you let us take quick ride?
Carny: What? Sorry. No can do.
Mike: [sighs] Listen, this is for my wife. She screwed up her Mother's Day, this is a redo, and nothing's going right. But you got a Ferris wheel, and she loves Ferris wheels. This could turn the whole thing around for me. I'll give you 10 bucks.
Carny: Happy Mother's Day, ma'am. You got five minutes.

Frankie: Wow! Isn't this great? Isn't this fun, kids?
Axl: It is now! I'm getting a signal! I've got bars!
Frankie: Wow. You can see for miles. Oh, I bet it wasn't this pretty last week. Isn't this wonderful?
Sue: [gasps] Octie! [gears crank]

Sue: Can you please be careful with Octie? I think I might want to return him for a chicken head oven mitt.

Axl: The text. I finally got the text. Ha ha! Yes! She said yes! I'm going to the prom with Ashley. Wait. Who's Ashley? Oh, God, I texted the wrong number. Thanks for the crappy phone with the small buttons, Mom and Dad! [groans]

Frankie: [sighs] Well, this sucks. I thought it would be hard to top last week's Mother's Day, but I think we've done it.
Mike: Well, I'm sorry Mother's Day was so miserable for you.
Frankie: Mike, I'm not blaming you.
Mike: Really? 'Cause it sounds like you are.
Frankie: No, no. It's not your fault. Maybe sneaking off to Brown County last week wasn't the greatest idea, but-
Mike: I didn't sneak off.
Frankie: Well, you didn't tell me.
Mike: You said you wanted to be left alone. I didn't think you cared where we were going.
Frankie: Oh, come on. You know I have always wanted to come to Brown County. Have you ever wanted to come to Brown County? Not that I can remember.
Mike: Well, you're here now and clearly having the time of your life.
Frankie: Well, we got kids in the gift shop, Axl on his cell phone, and... [points to Arlo]

Mike: So I bring you to Brown County. You're not happy. I gave you the day to yourself. You're not happy. You know, I worked really hard to give you the Mother's Day you wanted.
Frankie: Oh, pfft!
Mike: What's a "pfft"?
Frankie: You didn't work that hard. You don't think I heard you three days before Mother's Day? "Sue, Brick, Axl, get in here." And then you left me alone for Mother's Day. How hard was that?
Mike: That's what you wanted!
Frankie: It's not what I wanted.
Mike: That's what you said you wanted!
Frankie: I didn't know what I wanted! I thought it'd be fun! It wasn't fun!

Mike: Ugh, I can't believe this. When I got the kids home last weekend, I thought you'd thank me.
Frankie: For what? For sucking down jell-o cakes with the Clarys while I had my arm shoved in the toilet?! You know, next Father's Day, how about I take the kids out and leave you home alone all day? Huh? How about that?
Mike: Great.
Frankie: Oh, yeah, you know what? You would just love that. It's just so easy being a man.
Mike: Not right now it isn't. I don't know what more I could've done for you, Frankie. I gave you two Mother's Days.
Frankie: Crappy ones.
Mike: Okay, you know what, Frankie?
Frankie: [v.o.] And then Mike said something you shouldn't say to any woman on any day, especially her second Mother's Day.
Frankie: You know what? That's it. I'm outta here.
Mike: Where you gonna go? We're stuck.
Frankie: No, you're stuck. [jumps off the Ferris wheel]