Mike: Why is he standing there? He's just standing there outside the door.
Frankie: Oh, God. He's turning around. Oh, he's coming back. He's coming back. Nope. Turning around again.
Mike: Now he's doing the robot outside.
Frankie: Oh, God.
Mike: Why's he doing the robot outside?
Frankie: I can't look. Just tell me what's happening.
Mike: Well, he stopped dancing. Now he's reading a parking sign. And... He dropped his ticket.
Frankie: Ugh.
Mike: Picking it up... Blowing on it. Come on, buddy. Head for that door! Now he's moving again. Got his hand on the door. Oh, he's waving!
Frankie: Oh! Bye! He's in. Oh, God. He's in.

Frankie: Look, we got to stay positive. We might be picking him up for a good reason. There could be a fire.
Mike: Mm.
Frankie: [cellphone vibrates] "Never mind. I'm okay."
Mike: He's okay. Let's go.
Frankie: What does that mean, "I'm okay"? Was he previously not okay?
Mike: Let's not go looking for problems.
Frankie: [sighs] Can we just wait a few minutes? I don't want to drive all the way home and then have to turn back.
Mike: Fine. [Frankie sighs] Want to make out?
Frankie: Sure. But you'll have to come this way, 'cause I slept on my neck weird.

Sue: Okay, you answered mostly C's with a few B's, which makes you a... Social Sally. "Your winning ways and outgoing personality make you the go-to gal in any workplace."
Axl: That is me! That is so me! Ha ha!
Sue: So, your possible career choices are... Salon receptionist, spinning instructor, and handbag designer to the stars.
Axl: That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What happens if I answer all D's?

Frankie: That's it. I'm going in.
Mike: Oh. Hey. Frankie. It's a junior-high dance. If you think Brick can't fit in now, wait till the other kids see his mommy show up. He'll be a marked man till college.
Frankie: Fine. I just hope it's going well.
Mike: Still hanging on to hope, huh?

Mike: I don't know why you're getting so worked up about this. I mean, it's not a new situation. We've been dealing with this for a long time.
Frankie: I know, but this is different. Before, I wanted him to have friends. It's worse now 'cause he wants it.
Mike: Well, maybe he's not gonna get it.
Frankie: Mm. I just don't understand why this is so hard for him. [sighs] Could we have done more... you know, as parents?
Mike: Well, I think it's safe to say we could have done more. [Frankie sighs] But Brick is who he is. They come out how they come out. Maybe he's just always gonna be a quirky kid. I should have been nicer to Billy Fry. We used to make fun of him at recess 'cause he licked worms.
Frankie: Mm.
Mike: Now I know who that kid is. He's Brick.
Frankie: Please tell me Brick isn't gonna start licking worms.
Mike: Point is, at least it's not on us.
Frankie: That should make us feel better.
Mike: Yeah. "Should."

Sue: I don't know what you're so worried about, Axl. Things always turn out fine for you.
Axl: Hmm. You're right. I was losing sight of my awesomeness. [chuckles] Thanks. You know... You're not the worst sister a person could have.
Sue: Really?
Axl: Yeah, I guess you're, uh, pretty good at helping people.
Sue: You think so? Because I just love helping people so much. You know, I haven't told anybody this yet, but I was thinking maybe I'd major in psychology.
Axl: Huh. Cool, I think I'll do that.
Sue: What?!
Axl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna be a psychology major.
Sue: No, no, no! You can't do that! You are gonna steal my major and ruin it for me!
Axl: Mm. And how does that make you feel?
Sue: Oh, no! This is so not fair! You won't even try, and you'll be good at it anyway. And then you'll take my job because there can't be two psychologists in one family. That's never done!
Axl: Well, I'm doing it.

Sue: Fine. Then I am going to your college.
Axl: You cannot go to my college!
Sue: If you're stealing my major, then I am stealing your college!
Axl: Shut your fat mouth, Sue!
Sue: Oh, you shut your fat mouth!
Axl: Oh, way to copy me!
Sue: You are copying me! You're stealing my major! Okay, okay, you know what, Axl? I can't take this anymore! I tried to help you, and instead... [slips] aaaaaaaaaah!
Axl: Sue!
Sue: Axl, help!
Axl: I'll help you if you say you will not come to my school.
Sue: I won't take your hand until you say you're not taking my major!
Axl: Whatever! Kiss the pavement! See if I care!
Sue: What?!

Frankie: And you know, Brick, here's the thing. This might not be your time right now, but actually, Suzanne Somers had a great quote in her hormone book.
Mike: He's been asleep for the last five minutes.
Frankie: [sighs] Why didn't you tell me?
Mike: You seemed to be making yourself feel better. Look, Frankie, he'll be fine. Look at how much we worried about Axl and Sue, and we hardly ever worry about them anymore.

Mike: You... stay off the roof. And you... you're majoring in business.
Axl: Oh! Thank you! [chuckles]
Frankie: [v.o.] The thing is, you never stop worrying about your kids. Sometimes they need you to scrape them off the roof. Sometimes you have to give them a little nudge.
Axl: Boom! Business! In before the stroke of midnight. Whoo!
Frankie: [v.o.] And sometimes, you get a fairy-tale ending without even helping them at all.
Brick: [doorbell rings] I'll get it! [opens door]
Cindy: I was at the dance last night. You left your shoe.
Brick: Oh. Thanks.
Cindy: I'm Cindy. I'm gonna get some frozen yogurt. Want to come?
Brick: No. I'm full.
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, sometimes you got to help a little.

Frankie: His text said "Come get me. It's not going well in here."
Mike: Mine says "I'm fine. I want to stay."
Frankie: Why is he texting us separately?
Mike: [cellphone chimes] Uh-oh. "She doesn't like Planet Nowhere."
Frankie: Ugh. Well, that's the end of that. [cellphone vibrates] "Never mind. She was just kidding." And then he put a smiley face with a frog thing. Do you know what that means?
Mike: How long should we wait?
Frankie: I don't know. Want to make out?