Sue: Can I just say... I am the happiest I have ever been. I didn't know there were jets just for your feet.
Axl: Not just for your feet.
Hutch: Ahh!
Axl: Mm!
Sue: Okay, seriously, you guys. We said half an hour. Your time is up.
Hutch: I'd go, but I can't leave until the concierge finishes polishing my shoes.

Nancy: Hey, Mike! We got your mail again. I don't trust our new postman. [whispering] He has that chin hair, like a jazz musician.
Mike: I'll keep an eye on him.
Nancy: [normal voice] I ran into Rusty when he was over at your house. He said your dad's having some health problems?
Mike: Yeah. He's on a cane now. We're trying to move him into a place, but... [sighs] he's being a real pain in the butt about it.
Nancy: Ugh! So sorry. I went through the same thing with my dad. He just refused to admit that he couldn't take care of himself. We fought like cats and dogs toward the end, but now that he's gone... I'd pay a million dollars to have him back just one day.

Rusty: Hey, Dad.
Big Mike: Hmm?
Rusty: You ever think of going to war?

Frankie: [answers phone] Hello?
Gail: Hi, Frankie. It's Gail from Happy Hoosier Homemakers. I was just calling to see how Colleen was working out.
Frankie: [sighs] I love her with all my heart, Gail. She's like the daughter I never had. I mean, I have a daughter, but Colleen's better.
Gail: That's fantastic. Well, this was your last free cleaning, so would you like to continue with Colleen for $350 a month?
Frankie: [voice breaking] I would, Gail. I really, really would. But I can't. Wait, do you know how much kidneys are going for these days? [laughing] I'm just kidding! Hey, before you go, Gail... Are you only in Don's Oriental, or are you in any other fishbowls around town?
Gail: I'm sorry. You can't win twice.
Frankie: [orange juice spills] [sighs] That's truer than you know, Gail.
Frankie: [v.o.] I guess when it comes down to it, home isn't about how clean it is or knowing where your spoons are. It's where you make memories. It's where you get through hard times together. It's where you're comfortable. But if you ask me, it all boils down to this... Home is where the crap is. [shoes crunching]

Frankie: [v.o.] It was all my Downton Abbey dreams come true. I was gonna relax while my very own housemaid whipped this sorry house into shape.
Esther: [knock on door] You guys got a lot of stairs.
Frankie: Oh. Well, hi. I'm Frankie. You can call me Frankie. You don't have to call me Mrs. Heck or anything. I'm not fancy.
Esther: Esther.
Frankie: Well. Come in. Come in.
Esther: Your house isn't on the bus route. It's hard to get to.

Axl: Hutch, the tarp didn't hold!
Hutch: Gee, imagine that. Two of your flannel shirts tied together with rubber bands and Scotch tape didn't hold.
Axl: What kind of attitude we gonna have today... a good one or a bad one? Oh! Crap! Kenny's gonna kill us for getting snow on his computer. Aah!
Both: Kenny!
Hutch: Oh, he better be alive! We were gonna be Donkey and Shrek next Halloween.
[Axl and Hutch dig for Kenny in the snow piled up on the Winnebago floor]
Kenny: [blows snow off his face] Pffft! We can't live like this anymore.
Hutch: It's not like we got a lot of options.
[Axl smiles]

Sue: Okay. You guys need to be quiet. We are so close to getting our forever room, but if they catch you here, they'll throw us out. And I really want my forever room!
Axl: Relax. No one will know we're here. We are shadow. We are wind.
Sue: Listen to me. There is an R.A. here... Dan. He's very by-the-book. I always thought I was by-the-book, because of my fear of authority and sense of social responsibility, but this guy takes the cake. He actually took a guy's cake, because there is no joy allowed in the Bin.

Axl: [laughs] White men can jump! Ooh!
Hutch: You know, when I look at you, I don't see color. I just see a truly sucky basketball player.

Lexie: R.A. in the hall!
Sue: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I told you guys you were being too loud. Now we are gonna get caught, and I'll get kicked out of school, and it'll be a black mark on my permanent record for life. What if I want to run for office someday?!
Axl: Just shut up and read a book, dummy!

Axl: Ah ha ha! Welcome, ladies. I know I speak for Hutch and Kenny when I say mi 'Bago es su 'Bago. [chuckles]
Sue: [gasps] I told you we were gonna get thrown out, but you didn't listen, because you always play everything so fast and loose!
Axl: Look, Sue... did you a favor. You said the Bin was the worst place you ever lived. Well, booyah! Totally listened. So I think the words you're looking for are "Thank you, Axl."
Sue: Oh, I think the word I'm looking for is... [slips]
Axl: [gasps] [to April] Babe, it might be a little icy in here, so watch your step.