‘Flirting with Disaster’
Season 6, Episode 16 - Aired March 4, 2015
Frankie enjoys talking with Axl's attractive friend, Finn, but her mood turns to panic when she fears they may have overheard her confessing her feelings to her sister. Meanwhile, Sue is forced to take Brick to a Planet Nowhere sci-fi convention, while Tag (Jerry Van Dyke) needs Mike's help when he is made to take his driving test again.
Quote from Axl
Brick: Oh, good. There you are.
Axl: Finn, this is my brother. If you see a half-dork, half-girl walking around, that's my sister. Feel free to ignore them both.
Quote from Tag
Mike: [answers phone] Hello?
Tag: Mike, it's Tag.
Mike: Oh, I'll get Frankie.
Tag: No, no, no, I wanna talk to you. Okay, here's the deal. I need you to meet me at Stuckey's in two hours.
Now don't tell Frankie. Can't talk anymore. Pat's comin'.
Quote from Frankie
Finn: Oh, hey, uh, Axl said it'd be okay if I grabbed some chips.
Frankie: Sure. All we have left is barbecue, 'cause I... 'cause everybody eats 'em so fast. I'll... I'll get 'em for you. [struggles to reach the chips]
Finn: Here, let me help.
Frankie: Oh.
Finn: [groans] Got 'em.
Frankie: Good. Oh, before you go, let me give you guys your laundry.
Finn: Oh, thanks again. You saved me, like, 8 bucks in quarters, and, you know, those are hard to come by, so that's more like 12 bucks in real money.
Frankie: [chuckles nervously] Oh, yeah. Hey, I noticed you have an Alt-J T-shirt. I love that band. I saw 'em on Conan.
Finn: Yeah, I like 'em 'cause they play real music. Everybody's so auto-tuned these days. I can't stand that stuff. I like the sound of real instruments.
Frankie: I know, right? I mean, if you're auto-tuned, it's like anybody could be a rock star. I could be a rock star. Well, maybe in Europe. [chuckles] [Frankie sighs and chuckles nervously as she tries and fails to sit up on the counter]
Finn: You know, if you like the sound of Alt-J, you should check out The National. Here's their latest album.
Frankie: Yep, ooh, looks good.
Finn: [Chuckles] I like to listen to 'em when I'm studying. It helps me sort of...
Axl: [o.s.] Finn! You don't have to talk to her!
Finn: Well, thanks again for the chips.
Frankie: Holler if you need dip!
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Wow, a deejay on a pontoon boat? That sounds fun.
Axl: Oh! We don't have any cereal!
Mike: There's four boxes there.
Axl: Yeah, none of which have marshmallows. Looks like it's Denny's to the rescue.
Finn: Oh! I could destroy some Denny's right now.
Frankie: Oh, you guys are goin' out? Okay.
[Frankie scoffs after she notices Mike looking at her disappointed face]
Axl: Oh... [blows raspberry] Way to go, Mom, you parked behind me. You gotta move.
Frankie: Oh, my shoes are all the way in my room. Here, take my car. [throws the keys] Hey, nice catch, Finn. [to Mike] Shut up.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [on the phone] Uh, no, just pretty much stayed around here all weekend. Axl brought a friend home. Oh, my God, Janet, you should see this guy. I should be arrested for what I'm thinking.
Frankie: [v.o.] Oh, my God. The Bluetooth.
Frankie: [to Axl and Finn] Hey.
Quote from Tag
Tag: Did I tell you they moved our garbage day? I mean, for years, it's been on Thursday. Now they just up and move it to Friday? [laughs] Who puts their trash out on Friday? [horn blares]
Mike: Okay, you just cut off a school bus.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: [answers cell phone] Hey, Frankie.
Frankie: Quick question. Uh, I just gotta ask you one thing. If I'm right outside the car on my cell phone, does the Bluetooth definitely pick it up inside the car?
Mike: It should, yeah.
Frankie: Well, like, how close? 6 feet?
Mike: Probably.
Frankie: Probably or definitely? Which is it? Don't ask why. It's important.
Mike: I-I don't know, Frankie.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh, God. You know, you're useless. Okay, forget it. I gotta figure this out.
Quote from Brick
Wizard: [dramatic voice] You have chosen to enter the Valley of Despair. Only the most brave, clever, and true of heart shall avoid certain death. [normal voice] I did that wrong. I'm very sorry. [dramatic voice] All right, um... which hand holds the jelly bean? You are correct. You have avoided certain death and you may now exchange it for... A token.
Sue: Okay, Brick, you got it. Let's go.
Brick: I can't. I need two more tokens.
Wizard: [dramatic voice] You have chosen to enter the Valley of Despair! Only the most brave, clever... will avoid certain death.
Quote from Sue
Mystic: [Indian accent] And now for your fifth and final question. When Soran traveled to the outer rings with Ramale, how did he reveal he had switched allegiance from the Vernegos to the Silligans?
Sue: He showed him the mark of some rock on his left thigh.
Mystic: That is correct.
Sue: What? I got it right? I heard it on the tape in the car. [chuckles]
Mystic: This is the Pin of Greywhackle...
Quote from Brick
Brick: Wait a minute. It's as plain as the nose on your face.
Sue: What?
Brick: In book four, when Ramale met the oracle, he gave him his nose as proof of his allegiance. Here. Take this nose as a gesture of my sincerity. I expect nothing in return.
Oracle: [groans] [fanfare plays] You have five minutes.
Sue: Yeah!
Princess Kalakare: Congratulations. You have made it to the seventh moon. I have your Sacred Key of Larkin. Cash or credit card?