Sue Quote #764
Mike: Hang on a sec. Where's all this money coming from?
Sue: Well, I've been using my Spudsy's money, and I popped all the quarters out of my 50 states collector's book, and I've been donating plasma. I'm not exactly sure what plasma is, and I don't know if you need it, but, from the way I've been feeling, I'm guessing you do.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Sue, you got to come clean. You're too young to be in debt. It's different for us. We have a long-range financial plan where we die before we have to pay anybody off. But you don't have that cushion.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Can you sign this form saying you take full responsibility for the school camera, editing equipment, the sound equipment, and lighting packet while it's in my possession?
Frankie: No, we will not.
Brick: Well, then I'll have to do that signature Axl taught me, 'cause I really need it for this project I'm doing for film class. Oh, heads up... I'm working on a shoestring budget, so I'm gonna be shooting it entirely in the house.
Mike: A horror movie, is it?
Brick: Well, the assignment is to take an important piece of film history and interpret it as our own. I'm thinking either Battleship Potemkin or Knots Landing. I love Knots Landing. I binge-watched all 14 seasons when we inherited that box of Aunt Edie's old tapes. Now, I know what you're thinking... Sure, Battleship Potemkin was named the greatest film of all time, but Knots Landing just has the undefinable "it." Plus it's one of the few true historical records we have of the 1980s.
Frankie: The '80s weren't that long ago, Brick.
Mike: It was 30-some years ago.
Frankie: Holy crap.
Brick: Well, I better get on it. I'll be in Sue's room, scouting locations. Also, I'm still on the fence, but the episode I'm looking at may require a small car explosion.
Quote from The College Tour
Sue: Hey, Dad... Why do you think the tour guide gave me all these brochures? There's a Cherokee weaving workshop, and here's one on the headdress exhibit at the art museum.
Mike: Hmm, that's weird. They didn't give that stuff to anybody else?
Mike: I don't know. It's not like you're Native American.
Sue: Yes, I am.
Mike: N-no, Sue. You're not.
Sue: Sure, I am. I mean, that's what I put on my forms.
Mike: What? Why did you do that?
Sue: 'Cause I'm a native of America. I'm a native American.
Mike: Sue, now they think you're Native American!
Sue: Right, a native American.
Mike: [sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."
Sue: I'm a native American. Oh! I hear it now. Well, what was I supposed to check? There was no other option that seemed right. It's not like we're "ca-kah-zee-an."
Mike: Actually, Sue, we are.
Sue: What?! Oh, my God, this is horrible! They're gonna think that I tried to pull one over on them, that I lied on my forms, and it says it's a felony to lie on those forms. Oh, my God! I committed a felony! [music box plays] [vomits]
Quote from The Ditch
Frankie: [v.o.] Sue's ditch day wasn't exactly fun yet. But she knew as soon as she intercepted the call from the attendance office, she could really start living. Provided she stayed low to the ground and out of sight.
Sue: [answers phone] Hello?
Woman: This is the Orson High attendance office. May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
Sue: [British accent] Yes, this is she! [whispers] Why am I British?
Woman: I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today.
Sue: [British accent] Oh, yes. She is quite sick. Sick as the Dickens, I'm afraid.
Woman: Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent signature.
Sue: [British accent] A note?
Woman: Yes. It's a requirement anytime a student has been absent.
Sue: [British accent] Very well. A note. I'll add it to my shed-ule. Cheerio!