Brick: I still don't understand how birth order dictates seats, but I figured this is your last trip with the family. Besides, I can sit by the window on the way back. But I think I want to sit on Mom's side.
Sue: What? Brick, you can't sit behind Mom. I'm always behind Mom. This is the girls' side of the car!
Brick: I don't know, with Axl gone, it seems to me every seat's up for grabs.
Sue: It's not up for grabs!
Brick: I call it!
Sue: Wha... You can't call it. Mom, tell Brick he can't call it!
Axl: Just take me to the bus station! I'd rather take the bus.
Brick: She already said if it's called, it's called!
Frankie: Smile and wave. The neighbors are watching.

Frankie: When I get a gift, I put your name on it.
Mike: What?
Frankie: When I get a gift, I put your name on it.
Mike: What?
Frankie: You heard me.
Mike: No, actually, I didn't hear you. That's why I'm asking you what.
Frankie: I'm just saying, when I get a gift for our children, I put "From Mom and Dad." Sometimes I even give you top billing and put "From Dad and Mom."
Mike: Yeah, you say that, but everyone knows it's from you.
Frankie: That's not the point. The point is, I sign it from both of us because we're a unit.
Mike: We're a eunuch?
Frankie: Unit! You need to get your ears checked.
Mike: Maybe I don't want to get my ears checked.

Frankie: Look, it was just the gift to end all gifts, and it would've been nice if you had included me. That's all.
Mike: So, tell him it's from both of us. I don't care.
Frankie: [sighs] I'm not gonna do that. Hey, Axl! Axl! I'm so happy you love the watch that your dad and I both gave you. He thought of the latitude, but I thought of the longitude.
Brick: Anyone in the car believe that?
Axl & Sue: No.
Frankie: Hey. Hey, look over there. "Emery's Fresh Peaches"! Mike, pull over. Axl loves peaches. I'm gonna get him some... from me. Hey, Axl! We're stoppin' for peaches! Car peaches from Mom!
Brick: We don't wanna stop.
Sue: Now? Why?
Axl: I don't want any peaches.

Axl: Mmm. Actually, these aren't bad.
Frankie: Yeah. They're not bad. I'm glad you like my gift. Happy moving day, love Mom.
Sue: Oh. Oh, bee. Bee! Bee in the car!
Mike: It won't sting you if you're not afraid of them.
Sue: Yeah, but I am afraid of them! Ah! Oh! There's another one.
Brick: The peaches are attracting them.
Axl: Oh, I didn't even want the peaches! Why did Mom get me stupid peaches?!
Frankie: They were from both of us!
Axl: Quick, just throw 'em out the window!
Sue: No, we can't do that! That's littering and wasting food! It's a double sin!
Brick: It's compost! It's fine!
Sue: Sorry, America!

Frankie: Ooh! "Welcome to Illinois. Land of Lincoln." Oh, boy. Getting closer! Only three states left to go!
Axl: Ugh. My stomach's not feeling too great. I think Mom's bee-peaches were bad.
Frankie: Mom and Dad's bee-peaches were bad.
Sue: I know what it is, Axl. You're nervous. You've got butterflies.
Axl: I am not nervous. It must have been something I ate.
Sue: Axl, I've seen you pull a sandwich out of the disposal and finish it. It's not anything you ate. Admit it. You've got butterflies in your tummy.

Brick: Stop talking about human heads on animal bodies! You know that's my 43rd greatest fear!
Mike: That's it... phones back on! I'll pay for the overage. Man, this guy is driving nuts. What's your hurry, buddy?
Sue: Axl, stop pretending it would be a good thing to have your head on a horse body!
Axl: Too late! You put my head on a horse body, and everybody loves it. Actually, you know what? I changed my mind. You're right. It was wrong of me to put a horse's head on your body. It's not fair to the horse.
Sue: Shut up! Shut up your stupid face!
Axl: [neighs] Easy girl! Somebody go in the blue bag and get her a carrot.
Sue: Mom! [horn honks]
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.
Brick: Sean?

Sue: Why didn't you tell me you liked me on New Year's Eve?
Sean: I-I don't know. I thought you were with that Aidan guy, so I tried to woo you by leaving you the balloons and the Sno-drifts and the flowers...
Brick: That was you?! Oh, my bad! I gave the flowers to Cindy!
Sue: That is so frustrating!

Brick: Well, I did not see that coming at all.
Frankie: I knew. I've known for a long time. I was the first, but I was sworn to secrecy. That's why I knew and the rest of you didn't.
Mike: I knew.
Axl: I knew.
Frankie: Not till after I knew.

Sue: I am just floating on air. You know, I saw movies where people were this happy, but I never thought it could happen to me. Oh, isn't it crazy how life works? There I was at mile marker 15 just living an ordinary life and then... Poof! mile marker 16, and I am a woman in love. You know how you just love someone so much you ache when you're not with them?
Mike: You're not gonna ache all the way to Denver, are ya?
Sue: I am gonna ache the whole summer until he gets back.

Frankie: [phone chimes] There's another alert. Okay, who's using data? Now it says we're up to 99%.
Sue: Well, I had to tell Brad, tell Brad, and then he put me on a group text with no-cut a capalla and now my phone is blowing up.
Mike: Data costs money. We can't keep doing this.
Axl: Look, just take me off the family plan. My new job gives me a company phone anyway.
Frankie: Axl, don't be ridiculous. We're not taking you off the family plan.
Axl: Why not? That makes no sense.
Frankie: Um, because you're part of the family.
Axl: Not really. Not anymore. [chuckles]
Frankie: Stop the car. Stop the car! [gets out]
Sue: I'm gonna take the blue bag. She may need cookies.