TV Quotes

Eleanor: Holy fork, that is a soothing chime.
Tahani: It really is the most incredible chime I've ever heard, and that is coming from someone whose godfather is the most famous clock in the world.
Chidi: Is Big Ben somehow your godfather?
Tahani: Mm-hmm.

Chidi: So about this party, is everyone in the Good Place invited? Like, is Aristotle gonna be there?
Janet: Sorry, Chidi, Aristotle's in the Bad Place. He defended slavery.
Chidi: Socrates?
Janet: No, too annoying. Very loud chewer.
Chidi: Plato.
Janet: Slavery again. Oh, you know who is here? Hypatia of Alexandria. Do you know her?
Chidi: Hypatia? [Janet nods] Of Alexandria.
Janet: That's right.
Chidi: Uh, yeah, I know her. [muffled screams] Ooh, Hypatia! I'm gonna ask her so many questions pertaining to the grand ideas about the universe, like: "Why?" Oh, oh, and also... "How?"
Janet: Ooh.

Tahani: Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry.
Jason: Janet was my whole afterlife. How am I gonna get over her?
Tahani: I used to have a breakup routine when a relationship ended. Champagne and Alanis Morissette. Not the actual singer. I just listened to her albums at my friend Adele's house.

Tahani: Who can convince her that this actually is the afterlife? We need someone authoritative and reassuring, like Nelson Mandela or Sir Patrick Stewart. Or really any of my old racquetball partners would do.