Janet: Okay, you ready to do this?
Derek: Yep. [they kiss]
Michael: Janet. What are you doing?
Janet: I imbued Derek with some of my thoughts and emotions. This is the only way I can reabsorb them. It will just be a minute.
Eleanor: Dang it. That is some hot reabsorbing.
Jason: Can you get pregnant from reabsorbing?
Eleanor: Uh-oh, I hear wind chimes. Look away. Everybody look away. I'm going to keep watching, but you guys look away.

Michael: Janet, that will be all.
Janet: Okay, goodbye. Say "goodbye," Derek.
Derek: Ah, good-bob. I hope we same place again very now.
Janet: [chuckles] His brain is wrong.

Michael: Janet, you can't just go around inventing people. Get rid of him immediately.
Janet: No. Eleanor told me to find a rebound guy. I couldn't find one so I made one. [laughs] He's helping me forget about Jason.
Derek: [appears] Ugh, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason. Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason, [whimpers] Jason, Jason, Jason...
Janet: Honey...
Derek: Jason, Jason, Jason...
Janet: Babe. Babe! Don't be jealous. I love you now.

Janet: We are going to spend every second together.
Michael: No, no! No, you are not. Janet, no one can know about... I'm so sorry. What is your name again?
Derek: Derek Hoffstetler.
Michael: If anybody finds out about him, we are doomed. He has to stay in your void.
Janet: It's our void now. [laughs] We moved in together!
Derek: What?! Can you believe it? I got my own hanger for my jumpsuit.
Michael: Already? I mean, that's so fast.
Janet: Well, when you know you know. And we know literally everything. We are so in sync, we're finishing each other's...
Derek: Derek!

Michael: Well, there is going to be plenty of sun and fun at the private campsite that I set up for you at the edge of the neighborhood. Here you go. I told Vicky that I'll be torturing you for the time being so just relax. Live it up. Out you go, here. Now sadly, Janet is still offline so you can't call her, okay? The best news is none of this is suspicious. [nervous giggle]

Eleanor: [on tape] I don't know what's going to happen to us, but I need to tell you something. I love you.
Chidi: [enters] What are you watching?
Eleanor: Um, Cannonball Run II.
Chidi: Again? You watch that movie a lot.
Eleanor: Well, it's basically my favorite movie of all time. But you can never watch it. This copy's mine. Uh-oh. I guess I'm still pretty selfish. Help! I need another ethics lesson, quick!
Chidi: Very weird energy coming off you right now.

Eleanor: Is there a problem here, bud?
Michael: Okay, I'll just tell you. Um... No, too hard to explain. I'll show you. Janet.
Janet: [appears] Hi, there.
Derek: [appears] Hey, there!
Eleanor: Who the fork is that?
Derek: Derek Hoffstetler, P.I.
Janet: Derek is my rebound guy. I made him.
Eleanor: Oh. Did you do that because of what I said?
Janet: Yes, because of what you said.
Eleanor: Janet...
Janet: Thank you, Eleanor.
Derek: Thank you, Eleanor.

Michael: Okay, here's where I am on this: We gotta to kill Derek. No, think about it. What if Vicky calls for Janet, and Derek shows up too? She's got to have a lot of questions that we can't answer.
Eleanor: But Derek does seem to be helping Janet get over Jason. Right? No earthquakes since he showed up. If we get rid of Derek, then maybe Janet will start glitching again...
Michael: Okay, if we can't kill Derek, then we've got to break up Jason and Tahani. If that relationship ends, then Janet won't feel sad anymore, and maybe she'll get rid of Derek herself.
Eleanor: Girl, you are a messy bench who loves drama, and I am into it.

Michael: Guys, what's going?
Janet: Okay, can we not do this in front of my friends?
Derek: Oh, so they're your friends now. I'm stating a fact. They are your friends! I don't know these people. I am out of here.

Derek: I'm going to go back to our void, and I'm going to try to forget this ever happened.
Janet: It is not your void. It is my void. I know it's a boundless, barren nothingness, but you are always there.
Derek: Fine. I'll go somewhere else.
Janet: Fine!
Michael: No, no, not fine. Don't go somewhere else.
Eleanor: Okay... yeah... We're forked here, aren't we?