Michael: Derek, get down from there.
Derek: I am not coming down because I meant to come here. I came here on purpose because this tree is my new house. This is Derek's house, and Janet's not allowed in because I booby trapped it.

Derek: How come you never get this upset at anything I do, Janet?
Janet: Do not start with me right now, Derek.
Derek: Oh, I will start it.
Chidi: No, no. Don't. [Janet disappears]
Derek: Do not avoid me by going to the void.
[Derek disappears]
Michael: No, no! No, no, no!
Eleanor: What a little bench!

Michael: Wait! Stop the ceremony! This wedding cannot happen.
Eleanor: This is not helpful, but I have always wanted to be a part of a wedding that was stopped dramatically.
Jason: We can't get married? Why not?
Michael: Because... Because... Hang on a second. I can't do it. Professor Buzzkill got in my head. I'm just thinking about all the rules I have to follow to stay ethical. Someone else is going to have to do this. I can't, no...

Eleanor: Before all the reboots, Jason was married to Janet. Okay? That's why Janet's been glitching because she's sad 'cause she misses Jason, In fact, she was so sad she... Well... Derek.
Derek: [appears] Well, well, well. Jason Mendoza. At last we meet. You've got a lot of nerve buddy.
Eleanor: No, no. I'm Eleanor, man. Everybody, this is Derek. Janet made Derek as a boyfriend to try and rebound from Jason.
Tahani: Oh, I feel quite light-headed. Janet, fetch my tizzy couch please. [sighs]

Michael: Decision time. Any second now someone is going to realize we're all missing.
Eleanor: Why don't you just reboot all of us? Tahani and Jason will forget they were ever in love. It was a flukey thing. It probably won't happen again, and Chidi and I can forget... anything we want to forget. You know, just like, uh... personal bloopers that were embarrassing or... uh, days we were very gassy, et cetera. And then, we'll meet back in your office. You bring us up to speed, and we go from there.

Michael: No, no, no, we are not starting over. We've come too far. Our only options are to reboot either Janet or Derek.
Chidi: Neither one is permissible as your primary intention. I mean, the Doctrine of Double Effect, remember?
Michael: Well, man, I'm working with a doctrine of not being completely effed, okay?

Eleanor: [on tape] And you don't need to respond because... I know you have trouble saying how you feel...
Chidi: [on tape] I love you too.
Chidi: I've never been that certain about anything. I once even tried to... rent socks. How did I... say that... that easily.
Eleanor: I mean, I get how you said it. I'm a total smokeshow. But how did I say it so easily? Look, I don't want to talk about this, but after everything that's happened today, I think we gotta. So, let's just get it all out there. Um... Well, yeah, I guess, do you... I don't know... do you have any feelings like that for me again, now?
Chidi: I'm sorry, but I don't think I do?
Eleanor: Sorry? Why are you sorry? 'Cause I'm relieved, because I don't either. So, all good.
Chidi: I mean, I feel incredibly close to you...
Eleanor: No, no, no, no... dude, dude... you don't need to explain yourself. We are on the same page, okay? Good.

Michael: Well... Thank you for helping me today.
Eleanor: Wow. You... You really did just come here to chat, didn't you? Just shootin' the shirt with your old pal Eleanor.
Michael: I guess so, yeah, why?
Eleanor: It's just a very human-y thing to do. Stick with the program, demon buddy. I really feel like things are starting to click in our little study group.