Rose: Why do you hate your sister? That's what I wanna know.
Blanche: Because when she was born, I ceased to exist. I never saw my mama and daddy again.
Rose: Where did they go?
Blanche: They never looked at me again, Rose. She was the adorable one, the gorgeous one, the brilliant one. She sat in my daddy's lap for 16 years. Oh, and she was hateful. You know what she used to do? She used to bite herself on the arm and then run crying to Daddy that I had done it and he'd punish me. Oh, she got me in trouble all the time. Daddy used to call me the bad seed. Once, she even electrocuted me.
Rose: Oh, no!
Blanche: Oh, yes. It was the day before Christmas and we were playing and she jiggled the tree and the star fell off and broke. So she told me to pick it up and put it on my finger. And I did. Then she plugged it in. And wham! My eyes bugged out, my hair shot straight up. I did a crazy rubber dance all over the room. I'm sure my heart stopped beating for a minute. Then she ran to Daddy and told him I'd broken the star and almost electrocuted her. And he sent me to my room for all of Christmas Eve and told me that the baby Jesus was mad at me for ruining his birthday.
Rose: Blanche, that's horrible.
Blanche: And that's not the worst part. That darn electricity straightened my hair. I used to have curly hair.

Rose: Look at this, pop-ups. Isn't that wonderful? Remember when we had to use cotton and fish ointment?
Sophia: That's nothing. In Sicily, we use a leaf and the river.
Dorothy: Ma, you never had a baby in Sicily.
Sophia: I was a baby in Sicily.

Rose: Disposable bottles and formula. We had to sterilize our bottles and make our formula.
Sophia: I nursed. Your brother was 12 when he stopped. He wanted to come home from school at lunchtime. I got nothing left up here.

Dorothy: What are you gonna do, Blanche?
Blanche: I don't know. I mean, it's not as if she were my daughter. She's my sister. My sister that I hate.
Sophia: I wish I could give her my kidneys, let her get up all night.

Blanche: And what if I give her my kidney and then the one good kidney I have left stops working? What'll I do then, ask for my kidney back?
Rose: You'd be an Indian giver.

Rose: I don't like hospitals either. They're full of germs. I always hold my breath in the elevators 'cause there are sick people in the elevators and it's such a small space. And once, I had to go to the eighth floor in a hospital, and the elevator stopped on every floor, and I had to hold my breath all that time. And I finally fainted and I hit my head and then I had to stay there because I had a concussion, and I had to hold my breath all the way down in the elevator to the emergency room. Then I had to hold my breath in the x-ray, where they ask you to hold your breath anyway. And then after...
Dorothy: [entering] I have great news.
Sophia: Rose, excuse me. We'll get back to your fascinating hospital story later.

Sophia: I'd give you one of my kidneys, but I'm sure you'd rather have one you can control.

Blanche: Don't act so surprised, Virginia. You knew I was dating him. Then I had to go to the country to visit Aunt Augusta and when I got back, I had poison ivy and you had Tom. I loved that boy. I wanted to marry him. We were serious.
Virginia: You only had two dates with him.
Blanche: I was fast.
Virginia: I swear I didn't think that you liked him at all.
Blanche: Then I had to be maid of honor at your wedding. I had to stand there and watch you marry Tom. And I had to wear that green dress, which you knew was my most awful color. I looked just like a swamp frog.

Dorothy: Your kidney?
Blanche: My kidney.
Rose: Why would she need a kidney?
Dorothy: To feed the cat, Rose!

Dorothy: Blanche, what are you doing here? Is something wrong? I mean, we didn't expect you back so soon.
Blanche: Oh, the best possible thing has happened. I still have both my kidneys and my sister's fine.
Dorothy: Blanche, how is that possible?
Blanche: They couldn't use my kidney. My blood vessels were too small. Well, of course they're too small. I've always been very petite.
Dorothy: Blanche, Virginia.
Blanche: Oh, the most wonderful thing happened. They found a donor, an excellent match. She was a retired Mormon schoolteacher.
Rose: Virginia's so lucky!
Blanche: Oh, I'll say. That kidney was showroom-new. Why, the wildest thing that ever passed through there was Ovaltine. But the best part of it was that hunk of a doctor who examined me, he's gonna be in Florida in a few weeks.
Rose: Wherever she goes, she finds a man!
Sophia: So do hookers.