Dorothy: We had such a great time back in high school.
Jack: Like the time you and Trudy ran against each other for class treasurer?
Rose: You know, back in St. Olaf, I ran for president of the Bull Castration Club. There is no sound in this world sweeter than a bull's moo as it climbs an octave.
Jack: Did you win?
Rose: No. Lost by a hair.

Trudy: Well, that's that. How does it feel to have your butt whipped?
Blanche: Well, sometimes I find it strangely titillating, but... Oh! You were talking to her.

Blanche: Can you believe it? Two women competing like that, and there's not even a man at stake.
Sophia: In Sicily, women compete for everything. The most famous example is the Great String-Cheese War of '47. But why should I bore you with that? You all have college credits. You took history.
Blanche: Sophia, have you been out in the hot sun too long?
Sophia: It's a possibility. Is there wax running out of my ears?

Dorothy: Why did it have to happen this way? I feel like a murderer!
Blanche: Now, I will not hear any more of that nonsense. It was a freak occurrence on a tennis court. That is all.
Rose: She's right, Dorothy. You did nothing wrong. Technically. I mean, nothing that would hold up in a court of law.

Dorothy: Of course, breaking the news will not be easy.
Sophia: Want my advice? Wait a couple of hours before you do. Stuff like this can put a real damper on happy hour.

Dorothy: Everybody. Everybody, can I have your attention, please? Uh, I know I've been a bit scarce tonight, but there is a reason. Something tragic happened this morning. [sobbing] Oh, Ma, I need your help.
Sophia: Sure, sweetheart. Trudy's dead!
Dorothy: Please, everybody. Everybody. It happened this morning when we were playing tennis. Trudy's heart just couldn't take it. I- I- I'm so sorry that I dragged her out on the court and made her run back and forth so hard. I wish it had been me instead of her, because it's all my fault. We might as well take down that banner and put up one that says, "Welcome to the Dorothy Killed Trudy Party"!
Rose: [doorbell] Oh, darn. Someone's late. Dorothy'll have to give her speech all over again.

Dorothy: Oh, a girl never had a better friend than Trudy McMann.
[Sophia chuckles]
Dorothy: What, Ma?
Sophia: Oh, nothing. My underwear just hiked up on me. Right while you were lying.
Dorothy: Ly- Why do you say I'm lying?
Sophia: "A girl never had a better friend than Trudy McMann"? Somebody here doesn't remember prom night, 1946.
Rose: Why? What happened?
Sophia: I don't know. I'm that somebody.

Dorothy: No, I think what Ma is referring to [chuckles] is a little practical joke that Trudy played on me. You know, all of us on the tennis team decided that we would wear our tennis whites to the prom. Well, I showed up, and I was the only one.
Blanche: Oh, no! Your date must have been horrified.
Sophia: No. Her brother was a really good sport about it.

Dorothy: Which reminds me, I have to rush.
Blanche: Where to?
Dorothy: Tennis lessons. I figure, if she's gonna be here, we ought to have a nice, quiet game.
Rose: Oh, that's sweet.
Dorothy: And a lot of crap. I'm gonna mop the court with her.

Blanche: Oh, my. Looks like our Dorothy still holds a grudge.
Sophia: 'Course she holds a grudge. We Sicilians are good at that. That, and holding a grudge.
Rose: Sophia, you said "holding a grudge" twice.
Sophia: Hey, if you're good at something, you brag about it.