Dr. Richmond: Why don't you tell me the kind of symptoms you've been having.
Rose: Well, I have a fever and my throat is sore and my stomach is upset and I keep having this recurring dream where I'm being chased by a giant Listerine bottle. And when I open my mouth to scream, all I can do is gargle. Ah.
Dr. Richmond: Are you experiencing the same symptoms?
Dorothy: Yes, except in my dream, I'm chased by a bottle of Scope.

Rose: Oh, I can't believe it! If modern science can come up with cinnamon dental floss, why can't they cure the flu?

Sophia: Modern science is overrated. Sometimes, home remedies can work a lot better.
Blanche: You know, Sophia, you're absolutely right. When I was a little girl, Mama used to rub eucalyptus oil on our necks and then tie a sock around to keep it warm. Why, it cleared your sinuses up just like that.
Rose: My mother always used to sing to us. And make us gingerbread men.
Dorothy: Really, Rose? I think Michael DeBakey does that before surgery.

Rose: Great news, girls! I found my folk medicine book. It has a cure for everything.
Sophia: I hope it has a cure for crankiness. A lot of that going around. Cranky, cranky, cranky.
Rose: Would it be under anything else?
Blanche: Try Dorothy.
Dorothy: Try Blanche.

Rose: I'm not gonna let you two Gloomy Guses rain on my parade. I'm just gonna keep on smiling.
Dorothy: Rose, you're sick as a dog! How can you be so disgustingly cheerful?
Rose: It's my folk medicine book, it has the most wonderful Hot Toddy recipe. Here, taste.
Dorothy: Rose, this stuff should have an octane rating.
Rose: I know!

[Dorothy blows her nose]
Blanche: Must you do that?
Rose: She can't help it, Blanche. She has to blow her nose. Or is that a banana?

Blanche: Oh, would you two knock it off. It's time for Another World.
Dorothy: You can't watch Another World.
Blanche: Why not?
Dorothy: Because you watched it yesterday.
Blanche: That's exactly why I have to watch it today. To find out what happens. That's why they always say, "Stay tuned for the continuing story of Another World."
Dorothy: Too bad, Blanche. Today it's my turn to choose. And we are not watching Another World!
Blanche: Oh, you are undoubtedly the meanest sick person I've ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.

Rose: Girls, why do we have to watch TV anyway? There are plenty of other fun things we can do. We can play cards, listen to records, bake cookies. Now, we can't let this nasty flu get us down.
Blanche: It's bad enough we have to miss the banquet, must we also participate in a Girl Scout Jamboree?
Rose: I was just trying to be kind, courteous, helpful...
Dorothy: Well, knock it off! I've had it up to here with your cheerful disposition.
Rose: Oh, do you think it's easy to be cheerful around you two? You know how many of these stinking Hot Toddies I have to drink to keep on a happy face? I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Sophia: Great news! I got a date! [Dorothy, Blanche and Rose each slam their door] Well, excuse me for trying to have a life!

Rose: Do we have any orange juice left?
Dorothy: [pouring more orange juice into her glass] No, we're all out.