Dorothy: Well, I guess we should get back to work.
Blanche: Oh, I suppose so, but, you know, a big meal always makes me so sleepy.
Rose: Is that why you usually go right to bed after a date buys you dinner?
Blanche: Who said that?
Rose: You did. At the beauty parlor. Don't you remember? And Agnes said you were a lot of hot air, and you said she was just jealous 'cause she wasn't getting any. And I said, "Getting any what?" And you said, "Rice pudding, Rose." And I said-
Blanche: Could we just get back to moving the furniture?

Dorothy: The weather's cleared up. I think we should save a big project like this for a rainy day.
Rose: We agreed we weren't gonna waste time. That'd be a mistake, something we'd regret for the rest of our lives.
Dorothy: Rose, we're eating pizza, not getting tattoos.
Rose: I just hate the idea of wasting time, I always have. Ever since what happened to my neighbor in St.
Olaf.
Blanche: Rose are you about to educate us on the evils of wasting time by telling a long, tedious St. Olaf story?
Rose: D'you know a better way?
Dorothy: She has a point, Blanche.

Blanche: Go on, Rose.
Rose: Anyway, without a job Pigpen started feeling useless, so the town fathers thought they'd give him a new job - putting up the "Welcome to St. Olaf" sign out on Miller's Lane.
Blanche: Rose, is there a point to this story?
Rose: Yes! That same year on Founders' Day, the governor was coming, and Pigpen forgot to put up the sign. The governor drove straight through town without ever realizing he was in St. Olaf.
Dorothy: I would have thought the glazed look on everyone's face would have tipped him off.
Blanche: So the point is Pigpen ruined Founders' Day all because he was wasting time?
Rose: That's right, and the town fathers took down his picture. It had always hung in the St. Olaf auto shop, right next to Andy Granatelli. My mother used to date him. You know what he has under that trench coat?
Dorothy: A wrench?
Rose: That's what Mother called it.

Abe: It's after one o'clock. You're late.
Sophia: So dock me.
Abe: You do this for free.
Sophia: Then be grateful. Anything happening?
Abe: Yeah, we got three in surgery, two in X-ray, and you have to deliver these on your break.
Sophia: In your dreams! I'm a Sunshine Lady, not a teamster. Now get the hell outta here, let me do my work.

Abe: Oh, uh, one more thing. Your boyfriend was looking for you.
Sophia: Sam? He wheeled himself out here just to see me?
Abe: Yeah. I don't get it. He must see a side of you that's hidden from the rest of the world. Like the dark side of the moon.
Sophia: You're just jealous because you know you can never have me. [to onlookers] What's wrong, you don't watch General Hospital? This place is a passion pit.

Mrs. Leonard: Any flowers for me today?
Sophia: No.
Mrs. Leonard: Are you sure? The name's Leonard.
Sophia: I know your name. You ask me every day if I have flowers for you, and the answer is always no. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I made a mistake. There are flowers for you today.
Mrs. Leonard: Really? Which one?
Sophia: All of them, and the balloons too. There's no one here to deliver them right now, so you leave your walker here and just wheel these to your room.
Mrs. Leonard: Oh, thank you.
Sophia: No! Thank you!

Woman: Excuse me, I'd like to check on my husband. Mr. Carp, prostate surgery.
Sophia: Nothing yet, but he'll be fine. I went through it myself 20 years ago.
Woman: You had prostate surgery?
Sophia: What do I look like, a cross-dresser? My husband had the surgery. I was the one who went through it.

Blanche: Dorothy, why don't you just remind Sophia how active her mama was?
Dorothy: But, honey, Ma never saw that. I mean, to Grandma it was no big deal. She was just doing what she'd done all her life, so she never even discussed it. And to Ma, well, all she saw was the woman she loved growing old and wrinkled in a wheelchair.
Blanche: Just goes to show how different one generation can be from another.

Sam: Sophia, don't you have to go back to work?
Sophia: Please! I don't perform brain surgery. I give people directions to the cafeteria. If I like 'em, I give 'em the wrong directions.
Sophia: Have any visitors today?
Sam: Mom and Dad were by this morning. They brought comic books.
Sophia: I never let my boy Phil read comic books. Of course, when he was 16 we shared an underwear drawer.

Dorothy: Oh, hi, Ma.
Blanche: Hello there.
Sophia: You guys ready for bed already?
Blanche: Yeah, I guess we are!
Rose: We're very tired.
Dorothy: We took care of a lot of odds and ends around the house today. What did you do, Ma?
Sophia: What did I do today? What I do every day, I bought a nectarine.