Dorothy: Oh, now, wait a minute. Hold on, here. Hold on. Come on. We're behaving like vultures, like beasts of prey. I mean, girls, come on. DeKimmel is a dying man. Do we do we really want to profit from his misfortune?
Blanche: It would be immoral.
Rose: We'd hate ourselves.
Sophia: What time's the auction?
Blanche: Eight o'clock.
Dorothy: We'd better get there by 7:30. We want to get good seats.

Blanche: No, I know what you meant, Dorothy. You mean the reason we can't sleep is 'cause we feel guilty about profiting from Jasper DeKimmel's impending death.
Rose: I feel creepy every time I think about it.
Dorothy: Oh, me too. Look, why don't we just forget the whole thing?
Sophia: What? No one's calling anything off. It's not our fault the man is sick. It's not our fault the man is getting weaker by the hour. It's not our fault he needs a rare blood transfusion.
Blanche: Did you say a rare blood transfusion?
Sophia: Yeah, I overheard the doctors talking. In a day or two he'll be plant food.

Rose: I'm really confused.
Sophia: Look, life is tough. I'm not happy that a fellow human being is passing away, but it's out of our control. If we don't make a few bucks on this deal, somebody else will.
Dorothy: All right. We're all in.
Sophia: Fine. Welcome to the George Bush era. Me, me, me.

Dorothy: Now remember, girls, as far as anybody else here is concerned, Jasper DeKimmel is in perfect health.
Rose: Right.
Woman: I'm surprised Jasper's not here tonight. He never misses one of these auctions.
Rose: Well, it's not because he's dying.

Blanche: Oh, look, girls, here comes the painting. All right, now remember, $10,000 is our absolute limit.
Auctioneer: Next we have "Community Property" by Jasper DeKimmel. A small piece, but one which will be worth many times its current value some day.
Rose: Like tomorrow.
Dorothy: Keeping a secret just isn't your strong suit, is it, Rose?

Blanche: Oh, girls, let's stop sitting around here moping. Now, that painting isn't so bad. If you stare at it long enough, it almost looks good.
Sophia: I tell myself that every week after thirtysomething. It still gives me a headache.

Rose: The important thing is that we didn't do anything to feel guilty about.
Dorothy: That's right. Ma saved a human life. [doorbell] Even if it did put us in debt and even if he was the most miserable, contemptible slug on the face of this earth.
Sophia: [opening door] Look who's here, the runner-up.
Sid LaBass: I'm here with my crew to get started.

Dorothy: Sid, there's been a change of plan. We can't afford that new roof anymore.
Sid LaBass: I don't get it. You can't afford a roof, but you can afford a painting like that? That's a DeKimmel, isn't it?
Dorothy: Yeah. That repulsive trash is an original DeKimmel.
Sid LaBass: I have always wanted an original DeKimmel.
Dorothy: Don't you love the style, the technique, the use of color?