Rose: I better be on my way. It's my day to get groceries. God, I hate going to the supermarket.
Dorothy: Rose, if you'd stop playing express-line detective, people would stop yelling at you.
Rose: Oh, I see. So when you're standing in line reading TV Guide and you toss it on top of your ten items, I should look the other way. I think not, Dorothy.

Dorothy: Rose thinks her car's been stolen.
Sophia: No, it hasn't. It's parked right outside.
Dorothy: Ma's right.
Rose: Well, it wasn't there a minute ago, I swear it. How can it be gone one minute and back the next?
Dorothy: I think I know. Ma, why are you carrying that phone book?
Sophia: I can carry a book. It's a free country. Even the Statue of Liberty carries a book.
Dorothy: You were driving again.
Sophia: Who says?
Dorothy: This phone book is still warm. You were sitting on it so you could see over the steering wheel.

Rose: You stole my car?
Sophia: Only for a couple of hours. If I had asked, would you have said yes?
Rose: No.
Sophia: There you go.
Dorothy: That is why Blanche ran out of gas. You'd been driving her car, hadn't you?
Sophia: Do you know how embarrassing it is to drive a car with a bumper sticker that says: "So many men, so little time"?

Dorothy: Look, I absolutely forbid you to do this.
Sophia: Why?
Dorothy: Because you drive like Mr. Magoo. I mean, I don't understand why suddenly, out of the blue, you decided to start driving again.
Sophia: I had a blind date. Actually, he's just legally blind. It's Mr. Panioli. He's good-looking, a lot of laughs and he can't see his own hand in front of his face. He's happy just as long as I brush my teeth.

Blanche: It almost seemed to bring him back to life, and it made me realize why, from the time I laid eyes on him till the day he died, there was never, never another man in my life.
Dorothy: Blanche, you? You were never tempted?
Blanche: Never.
Sophia: Didn't you have your milk delivered?

Dorothy: Now, you know, Rose, I think Blanche has the right idea marrying someone she knows. It makes it a lot easier, sharing a history together. It helps knowing each other's idiosyncrasies. I don't think Stan and I would have gotten together had I known that his entire family smells their fingers all day after they eat chicken.

Dorothy: Well, since Blanche is having dinner with Jamie, we have a very important decision to make.
Rose: How about pizza?
Dorothy: Sounds great.
Rose: Should we go healthy and get whole-wheat crusts and low-fat cheese?
Dorothy: Why don't we go really high-fiber and spread ketchup on cardboard? Pizza, dammit! Get pizza.

Dorothy: Oh, Ma. I have the strangest sense of deja vu from when I was 14, except I'm Ma and she's me.
Rose: What are you gonna do about her?
Dorothy: Oh, I've got to be firm, Rose. I'm not gonna let her go to the prom.

Blanche: Well, I certainly am not. I am well in touch with my feelings and I certainly know my own mind, George.
Now, you've just been talking nonsense. Take it back this second.
Jamie: Jamie.
Blanche: What?
Jamie: You called me George.
Blanche: Well don't you think I would know if I had called you Jamie, George? I mean I mean George, Jam- Oh, well, Jamie, George, what's the difference?
Jamie: There is a difference, Blanche.
Blanche: You're just so much like him.
Jamie: But I'm not him.
Blanche: I feel like a fool.
Jamie: Oh, Blanche, honey. It's never foolish to hold on to a memory. Sometimes it's all we're left with.
Blanche: I miss him so much.
Jamie: I know. I miss him too.

Blanche: I think I'll take a stroll past that new mini mall they're building.
Rose: Why?
Blanche: Passing construction sites is good for your morale. The sound of guys in hard hats making that sucking noise through their teeth makes me feel like a lady again.