Rose: Hi, Blanche. Blanche, I said hello.
Blanche: I don't normally speak to people who call me a liar.
Dorothy: Now look, Blanche, we're in public now. There's no reason to be hostile.
Blanche: Oh, yes, there is. I don't like you.
Dorothy: And horizontal stripes make you look like Roger Ebert.

Rose: I'm still confused about the operation Gil Kessler had. Is the man asleep during it?
Dorothy: I think so, Rose.
Rose: And what about the parts they put on? Do they test them first?
Dorothy: Of course, Rose, you know, like windshield wipers.
Rose: So they work.
Dorothy: I assume so, yes. [long silence]
Rose: What are they made of?
Dorothy: Silly putty, Rose. I don't know. I don't know, Rose.

Blanche: I couldn't stay mad at you girls, you know? I did some thinking and I realized I was as much to blame for all this as you all were.
Dorothy: How?
Blanche: Oh, by talking so much. As you know, I've always talked a lot about my men. And, well, sometimes I've stretched the truth just a little. It's an old Southern tradition, storytelling. Just because you didn't have a good time there's no reason to bore your friends with a dull story, you know. So you embellish it, you add a little shading, a little color, a little hot tub. I guess it finally caught up with me. But I do think I've learned my lesson.

Rose: Can we have a hug and forget this ever happened?
Blanche: You bet we can. Come here, you two.
Rose: Oh, I'm glad we're friends again. Oh, me too.
Dorothy: Listen, Blanche, now that we have you telling the truth, um... Would you tell us the truth about, um, Bob Fredericks.
Blanche: True, absolutely true.
Rose: How about Howard Asher?
Blanche: True.
Dorothy: Eric Murdock.
Blanche: True, true. He had a twin brother. Would I lie to my two best friends?
[As Dorothy and Rose pull Blanche in for a hug, her fingers are crossed behind her back]

Dorothy: Ma. Ma, you promised you'd stay in your room until the meeting was over.
Sophia: Who am I, Alf? I was hungry.
Dorothy: You were spying.
Sophia: So what? He's a wimp, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. For your information, Gil Kessler is a very bright man, an honest and devoted civic leader. And probably the biggest wimp I've ever known in my life.
Sophia: That's not all. There's something else I don't like about him.
Dorothy: What?
Sophia: I don't know. It's a hunch. I can't put my finger on it. But if I could, I would have to wash it.
Dorothy: Ma, do me one favor. Stay here until we're finished.
Sophia: I can't believe you think your own mother would embarrass you.
Dorothy: It's not that, Ma. ... It's that, Ma.

Sophia: You know, Gil Kessler doesn't stand a chance of winning.
Dorothy: Ah, who says?
Sophia: The Miami Post, the Miami Journal, the Miami tribune, and Miami's own, Sophia Petrillo.

Blanche: Well, I, for one, am gonna do everything in my power to get Gil elected.
Dorothy: Fine. You can start by taking this folder he left to his house.
Blanche: On the other hand, why should I deprive Rose of a chance to be of service.
Rose: All right, but you'll have to wash these dishes.
Blanche: Honey, those dishes are dirty. Okay, I'll deliver the folder. I guess there's no sacrifice too great for a cause you really believe in. I just hope that big stupid jerk reimburses me for gas and mileage.
Dorothy: There goes a great American.

Rose: Don't you guys just love being involved in politics? Oh, I haven't had this much fun since I worked on the Dewey campaign.
Dorothy: Rose, you worked for Thomas Dewey?
Rose: No, Melville Dewey. The founder of the Dewey Decimal System.

Sophia: Dorothy, I've been chatting with your boy, Kessler. Give me another hour, I'll guarantee I'll have his secret figured out.
Rose: What secret?
Sophia: You got cheese in your ears? I said give me another hour.

Gil Kessler: Finally, finally, I'd like to thank our hostesses tonight: Dorothy, Rose and Blanche. With people like them to support me, I am proud just to be running for city councilman. So good night, and remember my slogan: "Gil Kessler for city councilman."
Sophia: You call that a slogan?
Dorothy: Excuse us.
Sophia: Easy on the arm, Dorothy. You break it, you pay for it.