Stan: Well, I guess I'll be going, too. You know, Dorothy, out on the lanai out there, it was like old times. You and me, a team, united. Partners. It felt pretty good, didn't it?
Dorothy: It sure did.
Stan: Where did it go wrong, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh... Who knows? These things happen. [Dorothy hugs Stan]
Stan: Oh, I remember. I wasn't happy at home under the sheets. Dorothy, you're hurting me. I mean it. You're really hurting me.

Dorothy: I knew it. I knew it. I just knew it. Stanley, I'm so happy. [hugs Stan]
Kate: Dennis had an affair and I've left him.
Dorothy: Stan, take your damn hands off me!

Sophia: A few more snacks like that and the only thing you'll be able to fit into is a saddle.
Blanche: I'm not going to eat all of this at once, Sophia. There's an I Love Lucy marathon on tonight. I'm setting up for 12 straight hours of classic TV.
Sophia: I never cared for that show. Every episode Lucy said the same thing. "Ricky, why can't I be in the show? Ricky, why can't I be in the show?" Why couldn't she be in the show? The woman was a riot at home. His show with the club stank. What's so entertaining about a Cuban beating a drum?

Rose: Dorothy, would you like to stay up all night with Blanche and me and watch I Like Lucy?
Blanche: I Love Lucy.
Rose: Well, I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know how I feel about it.

Sophia: Did Dorothy tell you she's gonna be a grandma?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, that was a secret!
Rose: Oh, Dorothy, why didn't you tell us?
Dorothy: Because we're not 100% sure. I didn't talk to Kate. Ma did.
Sophia: I'm not an idiot. I know what I heard. She said she had something she wanted to tell us in person and then she had to throw up. Call me Kreskin.

Sophia: He's her father. The yutz has a right to know.
Stan: What does the yutz have a right to know?
Dorothy: Well, we're not sure, but we think that Kate may be pregnant.
Stan: Wow! That's incredible. That makes me-
Sophia: A yutz. Some things never change.

Blanche: You're gonna be a granddaddy, Stanley.
Stan: Wow. Isn't life a gas?
Sophia: This is amazing. [gets up] Excuse me again.

Dorothy: Oh, I can't stand it anymore.
Rose: I thought you said everybody loved Lucy.
Blanche: She's talking about Kate and Dennis.
Dorothy: How long have they been in there?
Rose: Since Lucy went to Scotland.
Dorothy: That would make it over 30 years, Rose.

Blanche: Come on, Rose.
Rose: What about Lucy?
Blanche: We'll watch it on the portable in the kitchen.
Rose: But that set's black-and-white!

Dorothy: Ma. Ma.
Sophia: What's going on?
Dorothy: Honey, I'm sorry, but I have to talk to you. Dennis is here. He told Kate that he was sorry for what he did and they've made up.
Sophia: Marvelous. Now get the hell out of my room.
Dorothy: Ma, Dennis had an affair. What he did was terrible. How could she forgive him?
Sophia: Dorothy, please, let me go back to sleep. I was in the middle of a dream where I was held captive on a desert island by Cesar Romero in a loincloth.
Dorothy: Ma, Kate and I had a fight. I have to talk to you.
Sophia: Dorothy, you know that blue washcloth in my bathroom? That's how big Cesar's loincloth was. Good night.