Sophia: What's the number of the police station?
Rose: Is anything wrong, Sophia?
Sophia: No, I just wanna find out where I can buy the best donuts. Of course something is wrong! Dorothy never came home.

Dorothy: Well, there is not much to tell. Eddie took me to the restaurant where he had met his ex-wife Roberta.
Rose: Well, I would think going there would just remind him of her.
Dorothy: It did. Especially since she owns it, runs it and calls the place Roberta's. As she was seating us, he begged her to come back to him. And after he had wept over his crab cakes, I begged her to come back to him.

Rose: So, I guess you're not gonna see him again.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Yes, I will.
Blanche: What?
Sophia: Listen, pussycat, it's been a long time since you've been out on a date. And it's quite possible you can no longer judge a good one from a bad one. So let me be of help. Bad date, Dorothy. Bad, bad date.

Blanche: Come in, girls.
Marla: I'm Marla, this is Jackie. We're from the "Be a Pal" program.
Blanche: Yes, and I'm Blanche.
Jackie: I just knew when I heard your voice on the phone that you'd be pretty.
Blanche: Oh, well, thank you. Rose, this is my little pal Jackie. And your little pal Marla.

Blanche: Eddie's a love machine?
Rose: I'm sorry, Dorothy. I held out as long as I could. She said she'd tickle me.
Dorothy: You're a regular Nelson Mandela, Rose.

Sophia: So that's it? Lust.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, I am a grown woman and I have needs.
Sophia: Needs? You need food. You need air. You need a better wrinkle cream. You don't need sport nookie.

Dorothy: I thought you were both asleep. Why are you just getting in?
Blanche: Because the justice system in America is an imperfect and sluggish piece of antiquated machinery.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: We were in the slammer.
Blanche: Our cute little "pals" stole some merchandise and made us the fall guys.
Rose: We have to appear in court at noon tomorrow.

Sophia: Oh, just getting in? Listen, if you three are just gonna use this place days, would you mind if I got one of those medical emergency beepers? I'd feel terrible if one morning you came home one morning and found me on the doorstep instead of the Miami Herald.
Dorothy: Ma, it's not gonna work. I do not feel guilty about staying out all night and I do not feel guilty about Eddie.
Sophia: Don't underestimate me. I could make you feel guilty about bombing Pearl Harbor if I wanted.

Sophia: The point is, I don't want you to feel guilty. There's nothing wrong with a physical relationship.
Dorothy: Well, then, what about what you said last night?
Sophia: If you had let me finish my thought, Colonel Gaddafi, you might have understood. I said I thought this kind of relationship was wrong for you.
Dorothy: Well, it's not.
Sophia: Dorothy, I'm your mother. I know you. You're a loving and sensitive person. But this isn't gonna be enough someday. You'll be bored and dissatisfied and you'll end up unhappy. I'd hate to see that happen to you, pussycat. But if you think you can handle that, just look me straight in the eye and I'll drop the whole thing.
Dorothy: Ma, I can handle that.
Sophia: Both eyes.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I hate it when you're right, and I guess I knew you were right all along.

Rose: Girls, I know you're gonna go to court and tell the truth.
Marla: We'd like to, but we could get in some trouble.
Jackie: You see, most of the judges at juvenile court know us. I think we've worn out our cute act.
Blanche: Now, you listen to me, you little monsters. If you think we're going to be your patsies, you've have another thing coming.
Rose: Maybe some cookies and milk'd change your mind.