Blanche: Here, how about $50 and you tell the truth. What do you say?
Jackie: Are you trying to bribe us, Blanche?
Blanche: Oh, yeah. You catch on quick.
Marla: Make it 150 each.
Blanche: Oh, you little pirates. All right, you've got it. Now, get out of here.
Jackie & Marla: Thank you, Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, beat it!
Dorothy: I can't believe you did that.
Blanche: Don't worry. That check was written on our vacation account that we closed last week. The bank would sooner cash a check from Jim and Tammy Bakker.

Blanche: Come here, Eddie. Sit down here. Listen, what Dorothy is trying to tell you... What's that cologne you're wearing?
Eddie: I'm not wearing cologne.
Blanche: But that's impossible. It smells kind of like a mixture of Old Spice and musk and...
Eddie: And a porterhouse steak?
Blanche: Yes.
Eddie: That's me. The smell really gets intense when I sweat.
Blanche: Really? Well, I'd be curious to find out just how...
Rose: Blanche! Blanche! Now, look here, Eddie. Now, you listen to me. Dorothy has decided she wants nothing more to do with you. I can't understand why because I think you have about the cutest ears I've ever seen on a man in my entire life. They make you kind of look like Bambi. Marry me, Eddie.
Eddie: Ladies, ladies, please! This always happens. I'm cursed. Ever since I was a little kid, I've been absolutely irresistible to women. I know I'm a little plain to look at...
Blanche: No, you're not plain at all.
Rose: Oh, you're adorable.
Dorothy: Cute as a button.

Eddie: Please. Please, let me finish. I know I'm plain to look at, but everything I do seems to drive the opposite sex crazy. I don't do it on purpose. It just happens. The way I look at a woman. The way I make love to a woman.
The way I kiss a woman. The way I make love to a woman.
Rose: You said "make love" twice.
Eddie: I know. It's my favorite. I'm not surprised you wanted to dump me tonight, Dorothy, the good ones always do. They always end up wanting more than just nights filled with unbridled ecstasy.
Blanche: What are you doing tomorrow night?
Eddie: I'd better get going. I've caused enough trouble.
Dorothy: Look, Eddie, can't we see each other occasionally, just as friends?
Eddie: It won't work. It's like trying to eat one potato chip. Au revoir.

Eddie: I'd better get going. I've caused enough trouble.
Dorothy: Look, Eddie, can't we see each other occasionally just as friends?
Eddie: It won't work. It's like trying to eat one potato chip. Oh, hello, Sophia.
Sophia: Hello, Eddie. Eddie, I never noticed that beauty mark on your neck.
Eddie: What beauty mark?
Sophia: That one! [Sophia jumps into Eddie's arms and starts kissing his neck]
Blanche: Sophia! Sophia!