Dorothy: It's about Eddie. You know, I've been seeing him for a week now. I'm having a relationship with him like I've never had with a man before in my life. It is purely physical. Eddie is the greatest lover I have ever had.
Rose: Come on, Dorothy. If we're gonna do this, you have to tell me the truth.
Dorothy: No, I am telling you the truth. Honey, there is more to Eddie than meets the eye. But the only thing we have in common is under the sheets.
Rose: What's under the sheets?
Dorothy: His cappuccino maker. Sex, Rose. I am talking sex. We don't go to dinner, we don't go to the movies, we just go to bed and it is terrific.
Rose: All that and cappuccino too?

Dorothy: Oh, by the way, Blanche, I borrowed your gold earrings, if that's OK?
Blanche: Oh, it's fine, but I do think I should caution you - they were meant for petite ears.
Dorothy: They'll just have to do until Disney unveils their Dumbo line.

Blanche: I mean between Dorothy and Eddie. There is something peculiar in that relationship.
Sophia: You're right. And I'm gonna find out what it is or my name isn't Sophia... Sophia...
Blanche: Sophia Petrillo.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I do need all three pills a day.

Sophia: Boy, I wish I'd married Bing Crosby when I had the chance.
Blanche: Why? Because he was such a strict disciplinarian?
Sophia: No, because now I'd be a wealthy widow with my own place in Pebble Beach, so I wouldn't have to listen to that crap.

Rose: I wonder why Sophia didn't answer.
Dorothy: She probably thought it was me calling and decided not to answer. It's a little guilt trick she's used on me ever since I was 15. That and having major surgery and telling me about it two days later. Sometimes she didn't even need the surgery.
Blanche: That's guilt.

Dorothy: Oh, God, that's Eddie. I don't know if I can go through with this.
Rose: Oh, now, Dorothy, don't worry. We're both right beside you to help you through it.
Dorothy: It's not that easy. Eddie has some kind of a strange hold over me.
Blanche: Oh, baloney. Eddie is just a man, cut from the same cloth as the many men who have dumped you over the years. Just think of him as all those men, Dorothy. Become the dumper before you become the dumpee.
Dorothy: You're right. I'm gonna get rid of him just the way Paul Bennington got rid of me. The way Steve Mendlebaum got rid of me. The way Tom...
Rose: We'll be here all afternoon. Can you just open the door?

Rose: Now, is there anything special you girls feel like doing today?
Jackie: Would it be too much to see a movie?
Rose: Oh, no. We can go see Oliver & Company or Roger Rabbit.
Jackie: Or Tequila Sunrise. I hear Mel Gibson takes his shirt off a lot.
Blanche: You know, Jackie, I think you and I are gonna get along just fine.

Dorothy: [doorbell rings] Oh, God!
Blanche: Dorothy, just remember how important first impressions are, honey. Stand up straight. Put your left hand on your hip. Now, strike a very sexy, sultry pose.
Dorothy: [seductively] Hello.
Rose: Hi, Dorothy. What's wrong with your hip?
Dorothy: I was hoping you'd be my date, Rose.
Rose: Oh, gee, I'm busy tonight. But maybe you could try me again next week.

Blanche: Well, I'm making a list of things to do with our little pals. I just hope I'm good at it.
Rose: With all that enthusiasm, I'm sure you will be.
Blanche: Well, I just wanna make a difference in the lives of these youngsters. I wanna teach 'em, I wanna mold 'em. I wanna become a positive influence on every aspect of their young lives. It is only one afternoon a week, isn't it?

Blanche: Dorothy Zbornak, are you just getting in?
Dorothy: No, Blanche. I got up early and went jogging in a park with a really strict dress code. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some coffee.