Terry: $410.
Dorothy: Sold.
Rose: Dorothy, I say that.
Stan: $500.
Blanche: Sold!
Dorothy: She says that.

Rose: Dorothy, here's something that'll get your mind off Stan. According to my calculations, allowing for overhead, tonight brought in a grand total of $50. No, $500. No, 5,000. 50,000.
[Blanche splats her hand on the ledger]
Blanche: It's 5,000, Rose. Decimal points don't have six legs.

Angelo: Ah, Dorothy, I want to talk to you about my apartment. Ah, I'm grateful. I love where I live. And the last thing I want to do is come to you with every little problem. And now your mother would like to talk to you.
Sophia: Dorothy, you're making my brother live like a peasant. He has no closet space.
Dorothy: Uncle Angelo, you moved in with one suitcase. What do you need with more closets?
Sophia: I don't like to talk about my brother's personal life, but a man brings a woman home, how is he supposed to play a decent game of hide and-go-seek?
Angelo: Under the table, behind the couch, Bambi was on to me like that.

Sophia: And then there's the water pressure.
Angelo: I got more water pressure than this apartment.
Sophia: And another thing-
Dorothy: W-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why is any of this your business?
Sophia: He's my brother.
Dorothy: Well, I'm your daughter.
Sophia: Dorothy, I've known you, what, 60 years? Angelo I've known 85. To tell you the truth, I don't quite trust you yet.

Dorothy: And speaking of complaints, what about that out-of control housewarming party that kept all the other tenants awake until dawn? The one I was not invited to?
Angelo: That wasn't a party. That was a quiet dinner for two.
Blanche: Hi there, Angelo. Well, Rose and I are ready for our date. I just think it's so sweet the way the mariachi band all chipped in to go on a double date with Rose and me. [horn plays "La Cucaracha"] Here they are now. Angelo, great party the other night.
Rose: Yeah, you look great in a tux.
Sophia: It wasn't your kind of crowd, Pussycat.
Dorothy: That's funny. It's the same excuse you used when you didn't invite me to my Sweet 16.
Angelo: Now, that was a party.

Dorothy: Stanley, I appreciate you coming here tonight, but I've decided I'm not going out with you.
Stan: But I won the bidding at the auction.
Dorothy: I understand that. But there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind.
Stan: You owe me $500.
Dorothy: How about Thai food?
Stan: That sounds great.

Stan: So, business partners?
Dorothy: I have no choice. Business partners.
Stan: And dinner?
Dorothy: Absolutely not. Stanley, you claim that you have changed. Well, so have I. Stan, I have finally come to realize that no matter how hard you try, you cannot fix something that no longer works. I've learned to let go, Stanley.
Stan: Dorothy.
Dorothy: And you should, too.
Stan: Dorothy, I don't know if I can do it. If that guy at the auction had bid $6 million for you, I don't care what I would have had to do, I would have come up with six million and one. You're my girl, Dorothy. You always will be. But if you want me to go, then that's what I'll do.

Sophia: You know, Pussycat-
Dorothy: 3...2...1... [opens door] I can't believe it. He's not coming back.
Sophia: You OK?
Dorothy: Yeah, I think I'm OK. No, no, I know I'm OK. You know, Ma, for the first time, I feel that it's over, that it's really over.

Angelo: Dorothy, forgive me, but I gotta speak. Sometimes it's harder to close the door than to open a window.
Dorothy: Oh, that's very wise, Uncle Angelo. Thank you. [exits]
Angelo: [to Sophia] Actually, I was talking about the apartment, but I'll take wise.

Dorothy: Stanley, what are you doing here?
Stan: I'm buying a date with the woman I love.
Dorothy: Oh, jeez. Not in front of people.