Blanche: Well, isn't that a shame. We won't be able to go.
Sophia: Why not? You have a pressing engagement with a cheesecake?

Rose: I can't believe that stupid airline lost our luggage. What are we gonna do?
Sophia: Ask Blanche, she's the expert when it comes to checking into hotels without luggage.

Rose: I can't believe somebody stole my bags.
Blanche: Oh, honey, don't worry about it. With all the money we're gonna win, you'll be able to replace those bags and everything in them.
Dorothy: Yeah, what about my bags?
Sophia: Relax, with your share, you can have your bags surgically removed.

Dorothy: Look, forget about the reservation, just give us two double rooms.
Nancy: I'm afraid we're all booked up.
Sophia: First you give away our rooms and now you're tell us you're booked up.
Nancy: That's correct, madam.
Sophia: It is? Hey, I'm pretty sharp for three in the morning.

Blanche: [moaning] Fernando, you naughty boy. Not the feathers.
Dorothy: Blanche, Blanche, wake up. People are looking at you.
Blanche: What? Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I think I was having an erotic dream.

Sophia: You know, your father used to do a thing with feathers when we were first married, but he was too lazy to pull them off the chicken so I put an end to that.
Dorothy: Ma, next time you have an urge to stroll down memory lane, do me a favor: Go by yourself.

Dorothy: Yeah, now all we have to do is figure out a way to get to the studio.
Rose: We can always walk. It's only 39 blocks. If we start right now, we can still get there in time.
Blanche: I have a better idea. We can hitchhike. See, I can lift up my skirt, like that Clark Gable movie, It Happened One Night. We'll have a ride in no time.
Sophia: Please, you lift up your skirt, and someone might mistake your thigh for the on ramp to the freeway.

Blanche: Sophia, Rose, honey. Before you go out, there's something you ought to know. We're gonna team up with the Kaplan Brothers.
Rose: The Kaplan Brothers? You mean you and Dorothy are joining a country western band?
Dorothy: That's the Gatlin Brothers, Rose.

Guy Corbin: Thank you. Hello, everybody! Welcome to Grab That Dough. The show where all you really need to know to win, is how to make a fist. Let's meet our lucky contestants. First, on the green team, we have Dorothy Zbornak, an English teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York. She now lives in Miami with her mother, who will gladly pay anyone who will take her out for a date.

Dorothy: Blanche, that entire introduction was nothing but lies.
Blanche: I know, and they just loved it. Did you hear that applause?
Dorothy: Is that all you care about? Money and applause?
Blanche: And sex. For which I generally get applause.