Mr. Kane: Excuse me, did one of you ladies drop this?
Sophia: Is there any money in it?
Mr. Kane: Uh-huh.
Sophia: I dropped it.
Blanche: Sophia, you did nothing of the kind.
Mr. Kane: A lot of money in here.
Blanche: That does look a little bit like Sophia's wallet.

Mr. Kane: It's a man's wallet. Did either of you see who did drop it?
Blanche: Afraid not, no.
Mr. Kane: There's over $2,000 in here. Whoever lost this must be found. I think we should turn it in to lost and found.
Sophia: Wait a minute! You're gonna give that money to a guy who makes two bucks an hour watching umbrellas?
Mr. Kane: That's a good point. Besides, there's no ID in here. What if we put a notice in the newspaper? And, after a certain amount of time, if nobody claimed the wallet, then we could-
Blanche: Split it. Then we could split it. I know that is what I would want people to do if I lost my wallet.

Mr. Kane: Now, this is off-the-top-of-my-head stuff, but maybe we're too close to the problem. Maybe we should ask somebody who doesn't have a stake in this. Maybe they could find a solution. Dumb idea?
Blanche: It's worth a try.
Mr. Kane: How about that nun over there?
Sophia: What if she guilts us into giving it to charity?
Mr. Kane: Well, I think we can agree that that's the last thing we wanna do.
Blanche: On the other hand, she is a shopping nun. She could be OK.

Mr. Kane: Excuse me. Sister.
Nun: Yes.
Mr. Kane: These ladies and I found a wallet with money in it. But until the rightful owner shows up to claim it, we were wondering where we could put it so it'd be safe.
Nun: In a bank?
Sophia: But whose bank?
Nun: Well, couldn't you open up a joint account in all your names?
Mr. Kane: Um, I don't know. See, I really don't know these people.
Nun: Well, maybe you could both put up equal amounts of your own money to show mutual good faith and open up an account. And if the money isn't claimed, then you could withdraw it and split it. And if it is, at least you've made some interest.
Blanche: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Mr. Kane: I think it would work. I'd certainly be willing to put up $2,000 of my money if you two would put up $1,000 each. Thank you so much for your help, sister.
Nun: Go with God.

Dorothy: Gee, it seems so strange not meeting you in a hotel room. I guess I shouldn't steal the towels.

Dorothy: You know what's interesting? I just read somewhere that the cells in the human body completely regenerate themselves every seven years. Isn't that interesting?
Glen: Uh-huh.
Dorothy: I- I guess that means that we're 40% of who we were, you know, four years ago.
Glen: Dorothy.
Dorothy: Yes. Actually, it's four and a half years, so that makes it closer to 35%. You know what? The last thing my mother said to me was that she wanted me to keep my feet on the floor.
Glen: My mother wanted me to be a priest.
Dorothy: I guess it's a bad day for mothers.

Rose: Hi, how did shopping go?
Sophia: Great. Great. It was great.
Blanche: Really great. Best shopping ever.
Rose: I was just gonna make some lemonade. I bet you girls could really use some.
Both: Great.

Dorothy: Everybody, this is Glen. Glen, I'd like you to meet-
Glen: Don't tell me. Rose, Blanche and Mrs. Petrillo. These are for you.
Sophia: Cannoli? What does an Irishman know about cannoli?
Glen: When I was a kid in Brooklyn, every Sunday, my father used to go to Zampano's bakery for cannoli.
Dorothy: I never dreamed you grew up in Brooklyn.
Glen: Oh, sure. Our whole block was Irish. The other block was Italian. We used to take turns beating each other up on the way home from school.
Rose: I think it's nice when kids take turns.

Sophia: So, Glen. How come you cheated on your wife?
Glen: Wow. Straight to Final Jeopardy, huh? OK. Bernice and I had been separated emotionally for years when I met Dorothy, and right or wrong, I've never been anything but grateful that that happened. What else you wanna know about me?
Blanche: Sophia, I think it's time you stopped subjecting this nice man to the third degree.
Sophia: I had to check him out. Dorothy's a smart, attractive girl, but when it comes to picking men, she's all thumbs. But she's clean and she's got good teeth. Cannoli?

Dorothy: I had to tell somebody and I couldn't wait another minute. Glen asked me to marry him.
Blanche: Pay dirt! Well, are you gonna do it?
Dorothy: I haven't had time to make up my mind.
Blanche: Well, don't dawdle. Men have a very short memory span when it comes to that question. Sometimes they forget before you can get your clothes back on.