Dorothy: Ma's been feeling a little down lately, so I invited her to play golf with us.
Raymond: Oh, wonderful. Glad to have you along.
Sophia: I know.
Raymond: So, Sophia, tell me, have you played much?
Sophia: Have I played? ... Have I played? ... Played what?

Rose: You know, with all the work I put in on this campaign, I might as well run for fashion show chairman myself.
Blanche: [laughing]
Rose: What's so funny?
Blanche: You? Rose, you can't be fashion show chairman. Well, you thought Giorgio Armani was a puppet on Ed Sullivan.

Rose: Where are you going all dressed up?
Dorothy: Raymond invited me out for an intimate dinner. It'll be the first time in weeks that we've been anywhere without Ma.
Blanche: Is that why you sent her off to the drugstore?
Rose: You're dumping your own mother?
Dorothy: Faster than CBS dumped Jimmy the Greek.

Raymond: Dorothy, I'm getting tired of dating your mother.
Dorothy: I promise this is the last time this'll ever happen.
Raymond: Okay.
Dorothy: Coming, Ma.
Raymond: Just one more thing.
Dorothy: What is it?
Raymond: When we are through with dinner and she begins to pick her teeth-
Dorothy: I'll ask her to keep them in her mouth.

Waiter: May I get something from the bar?
Raymond: Yes. Bring me a bottle of scotch.
Dorothy: Raymond, we still have to get through dinner.
Raymond: That's right. And a bottle of gin.

Dorothy: Ah, dinner was just wonderful, Raymond.
Sophia: And the rolls were the best I ever tasted. You want one?
Raymond: No, thank you, Sophia.
Dorothy: How about some coffee?
Sophia: Sorry. I didn't steal any. But I have plenty of matches.

Sophia: I can't believe it. I'm going to the Bahamas. [singing] Day-oh Day-oh Day-oh

Raymond: It's okay, Dorothy. I respect your being so considerate of your mother. Have you ever considered having her put away?
Dorothy: Every day of my life.

Rose: Dorothy, can I confide something in you I've never told another living soul?
Dorothy: Of course.
Rose: Promise not to tell anybody?
Dorothy: I promise.
Rose: Are you willing to spit in each other's hand and rub on it?
Dorothy: Who are we, Wally and the Beaver? What is it you wanna tell me, Rose?

Dorothy: Ma, I know what you're trying to do. It's not working.
Sophia: What?
Dorothy: You made up something to do because you're afraid you'll be intruding on Raymond and me. You don't have to worry about that. Honey, you are more important. And that's why I'm spending the entire weekend here with you.
Sophia: Jeez, you're a yutz.
Dorothy: Try not to get all choked up.