Dorothy: No, I felt terrible about doing it, but Raymond and I need our privacy.
Blanche: Why don't you just tell Sophia how you feel?
Dorothy: It'll hurt her feelings, and right now we're the only friends she has.
Rose: Oh, I think that's sweet.
Blanche: I think it's unnatural, and I'm from the South. I mean, what do you do when you and Raymond wanna, you know, make love?
Rose: Blanche!
Blanche: Well, it's bound to come up. How do you handle it?
Rose: Yeah, Dorothy, how do you handle it?
Dorothy: Handle it? I can't even get close to it.

Dorothy: I really feel so terrible about running out on Ma like that.
Raymond: I don't.
Sophia: Hey, hey! Give it a rest, Raymond! You're in her mouth more than her dentist.
Dorothy: Ma, how did you get back from the drugstore so soon?
Sophia: I faked a heart attack to get through the line faster.

Rose: In the first panel, it says "Sonia Klingenhoffer" in big letters, and the "O" has pigtails.
Dorothy: What's in the second panel, Rose?
Rose: Sonia's walking down this country road and there's this group of children laughing at her. And in the bubble coming out of her mouth, it says, "It's not funny. You try getting white bread and mayonnaise out of your braces." And then in the third panel-
Blanche: Rose, how many panels are there?
Rose: Sixteen. And then in the next panel-
Dorothy: Could you just tell us the gist of the story?
Rose: Oh, fine, but then you'd miss the joke between the two crows on the telephone wire.
Dorothy: The gist of the story, Rose.
Rose: Well, in the last panel, Sonia tells her mother, and her mother understands.
Blanche: If my foot wasn't asleep, I wouldn't ask this. What exactly was it Sonia told her mama?
Rose: The joke between the two crows. I knew you'd beg to hear it.
Dorothy: That's it. Get out!

Sophia: Ow! My nose!
Blanche: Sophia, are you all right, honey?
Sophia: Wonderful, wonderful. I always wanted to have a nose like Joe Frazier.
Dorothy: Ma, how long were you listening at the door?
Sophia: I wasn't listening at the door.
Dorothy: Oh, then why was your face pressed against the crack?
Rose: That's what the crow said!
Dorothy: Get out!

Dorothy: Ma, I wanna talk to you about the trip.
Sophia: Yeah, I wanna talk about the same thing. I'm not going.
Dorothy: What?
Sophia: Don't faint, but you were right when you said I should go out and make new friends, so I took your advice. I met some nice people at the center, and this weekend we're all going to Cancun. It looks like you and what's-his-name will have to go to the Bahamas without me.
Dorothy: You just met these people, and you're all going to Cancun?
Sophia: Yeah. One of them has a condo down there.
Dorothy: Ma, you were listening at the door last night, weren't you?
Sophia: No, no. I swear on your father's grave. Or what used to be your father's grave. Now it's a Der Wienerschnitzel. But he always liked their pups, so I never made a fuss.

Dorothy: Well, we, uh we were just going out to dinner.
Sophia: Great. I'm starving. Where are we going?
Raymond: Well, Sophia, we thought maybe just this once we'd like...
Dorothy: We felt we'd like to go out for French food. How does that sound?
Sophia: They eat snails. Why pay good money for something you can scrape off your shoes?

Sophia: I'm sorry. I'm just irritable.
Rose: Poor Sophia. You still upset because your friend Bernice moved to Chicago?
Sophia: No, Rose. I'm upset because I can't relate to Thirty something.

Rose: Is it Raymond again?
Dorothy: Yes.
Blanche: Raymond? Isn't he the guy you picked up at the grocery store?
Dorothy: I did not pick him up. He asked me if I could recommend a good coffee, and then I threw myself underneath his shopping cart.

Dorothy: We've had a wonderful time together these past few weeks. Girls, I really like him, and I think he likes me.
Sophia: Just don't ruin it and sleep with him.
Dorothy: Of course not, Ma. I only do that with men I plan to scar psychologically.

Sophia: Hey! Hey! I have a Chiclet here somewhere if you're fighting over a piece of gum.