Beverly: Perfect 98.6.
Adam: Gah! When did you take that? Where did you take that?
Beverly: Why are you lying about throat tickles?
Adam: Fine. The truth is Halloween was a special night for me and Pops. I'm just gonna sit this one out. No big whoop.
Beverly: Of course, Schmoopie. No whoop at all.
[later:]
Beverly: This is a huge [bleep] whoop. I've got to restore Adam's Halloween spirit.
Murray: Well, we all have our stuff. For example, me, I'm gonna go watch a special Halloween Night Court. And you, you've got to heat up this four-meat lasagna and bring it to me.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was October 27th, 1980-something, and my brother Barry was not exactly in the Halloween mood. ["Monster Mash" playing through walls]
Barry: Enough "Monster Mash"! We get it! [sighs] Monsters need to let loose, too!

Joanne: What's the matter, babe? You usually love Halloween. It's the one day a year your candy habit seems reasonable.
Barry: If I want to get into the medical school of my choice, I have to bear down.
Joanne: That's so inspiring. When I'm a lawyer, I'm gonna handle all your malpractice suits. It won't matter who you kill or disfigure, I will always be right by your side.
Barry: Aww.
Joanne: Yeah, aww. Come get your treat, you nasty trickster.
Erica: Blech. Can you guys do that somewhere else? Like, nowhere and never?
Barry: And why would I hide it? I'd happily demonstrate my affection for Joanne on the 50-yard line of the Fiesta Bowl.
Joanne: Mm, that's so hot. The refs would totally throw a flag for illegal use of our hands and faces.
Geoff: Sure. Love finds a way.

Joanne: Big Tasty? Who's that?
Geoff: You know. It's Barry's nickname.
Joanne: I do not know. Since when?
Barry: Since forever. I've been crushing the rap game with my mad rhymes and sick flow.
Joanne: You rap? Wow.
Barry: How do you not know this about me?
Geoff: Maybe you just haven't done it in awhile. You've been so focused on medical school. It's a good thing.
Barry: Good thing? My own girlfriend doesn't know how dope I am at spitting lyrics.
Joanne: Show me, show me, show me.
Barry: Give me a topic. Literally anything.
Joanne: That pencil.
Barry: A-one... [rapping] # This pencil, it's filled with lead # It's also got wood # Did I mention the lead? # W-What? What?
? [talks] What?! [talks] I lost my magic.
Erica: We all lose things... like the time. [chuckles] Would you look at that? It's...
Geoff: Huh.
Joanne: Don't worry. I liked it, Large Yummy.
Barry: It's Big Tasty.

Murray: Hey! I was kind of watching that!
Beverly: Ben, I need your help.
Pop-Pop: No thanks.
Beverly: You don't even know what it is yet.
Pop-Pop: I get the sense it involves me, so...
Murray: Bevy, don't bother the man. He's never participated in life in any way. Why would he start now?
Pop-Pop: Eh, let her finish so I can pretend to consider it.
Beverly: Adam needs some Halloween grandpa time.
Pop-Pop: Hmmmm. No.
Beverly: You don't have a choice. You're doing it.
Pop-Pop: Oh, this one with the hair and the ideas. All right, tell me where to stand.
Beverly: Yay, his heart is full and ready!

Adam: And cut! I think we got it.
Pop-Pop: Got it? I haven't stabbed any horny kids yet.
Adam: But you have killed my spirit. That's a wrap on Pop-Pop.
Pop-Pop: Really? I'm here. I'm wearing this thing that smells like your brother.
Adam: No offense, Pop-Pop, it's just...
Pop-Pop: It's not the same as doing it with your other grandpa. I get it.
Adam: I'm sorry.
Pop-Pop: Ah, don't be. Everybody loved that guy. A little too smiley for my taste, but you do you.
Adam: Thank you for understanding.
Pop-Pop: Well, thanks for understanding you're gonna drive me home.

Joanne: I got one. [sings] # We did the bob # We did the apple bob #
Geoff: That's just "Monster Mash" with different words.
Joanne: Nuh-uh. It's about apples.
Geoff: Why is this something you needed immediately? Aren't you kind of focused on becoming a doctor?
Barry: Why do I have to just be one thing? Can't I be Dr. Big Tasty, MD?
Geoff: Sure, you can. But I don't think you're gonna get a lot of patients.
Barry: I'll get all the patients! Even your stupid eye patients. I'll cure their blindness with my bedside manner and crazy syncopation.
Geoff: What?
Barry: Let me clear it up for you. I need an international smash! Topic, cobwebs. Go!
Geoff: I love you, Barry, but I think you're wasting your time. And mine.
Barry: Fine! But every year during this time, you'll have to explain to your kids, "I know the guy who wrote that song, but I wouldn't support him by coming up with the idea and writing it for him!"

Pop-Pop: Thanks for helping me lug your mother's pumpkin bread up here.
Adam: They are surprisingly hard and sharp for something supposedly made with love.
Pop-Pop: I can stick those in the wall of the john. [chuckles] No leak's gonna get by those walnuts.
Adam: Welp, I look forward to the tale of how these loaves saved your bathroom at Thanksgiving. Until then.
Pop-Pop: Whoa, whoa. Wait. Where you going? I thought you were gonna stick around and help me shoo away those costumed moochers.
Adam: As much fun as that sounds, I think I'm just gonna head home, go to bed, and wake up when Halloween's over.

Joanne: I'm saving Big Tasty. Now, look.
Barry: Elvira: Mistress of the Dark. Even in black and white, she pops off the page, if you know what I mean.
Joanne: Oh, I do. And she's appearing tonight at a mall in New Jersey. This is a sign.
Barry: It is! It's like the Halloween spirits have come to save me.
Joanne: To save Big Tasty. Now, you're gonna write the best Halloween rap of all time. She'll hear two bars and sign you to her spooky record label.
Barry: This is the perfect plan!
Joanne: I know! And we can take the train there, 'cause I'm a little bit drunk.
Barry: You just gave me an idea for the biggest hit single in Halloween history... "Monster Train."
Joanne: Next stop, gold record! [laughs]
Barry: All we need now are lyrics, music, and someone to arrange it all. Follow me!

Erica: "Monster Train"? I am 1,000% in.
Barry: You're surprisingly enthusiastic. May I ask why?
Erica: I'm just excited to hear Elvira's reaction when you present her with your fun and quickly cobbled together song.
Barry: She's in it for the right reason!