Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my mom's plan had gone awry, Geoff was putting Barry's Dating Game training into action.
Mandy: Bachelor Number Two, I love to laugh. How could I tickle your funny bone?
Geoff: Well, Mandy, I may never laugh again after seeing Bachelor Number One's hideous face. [audience laughter] I'm so sorry. I-I think your face is lovely.

Mandy: If you were ordering me a steak, how would you say I like my meat?
Geoff: I'd go with rare. And you know what else is rare? The shape of Bachelor Number Three's head. [audience laughter] I'm so sorry. I feel like outside of this we could be friends.

Mandy: I love watching baseball. What's your favorite position?
Geoff: I'd have to say bat boy, because I'm helpful and organized.

Erica: Oof. Rough start.
Heath: Yeah, I don't know. I think he's just nervous.
Erica: Hey... Shushy-shush. TV's talking.

Erica: [laughs] Crash and burn! He is so done.
Heath: You know, in my novel, we actually...
Erica: Okay, zip it, yakkity yak. Mandy's about to pick a winner.

Erica: You're gonna take me to Bookbinder's.
Heath: Look, I gotta be honest. I thought this was going really badly.
Erica: Nah. Tens from all the judges. Now let's boogie.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Erica was off to dinner, my mom was meeting with the Realtor to get our new beach house off of her hands.
Beverly: Please. Somebody's gotta be interested in this place.
Realtor: Yeah, like a true-crime buff or someone into the occult.
Beverly: This couldn't get worse. [horn honks]
Jane Bales: Beverly! [horn honks] Ohh... Is that you?
Beverly: Jane Bales. [chuckles] The ocean air must have masked your approach.
Jane Bales: Well, I heard you were out here, so I've been driving around looking for you. It took forever, since I started in the nice areas. Is this what you were bragging about?
Beverly: No, I-I volunteer to bring meals to sick and decrepit people who live in dumps like this.
Jane Bales: Charity is so gross.
Beverly: So gross.
Jane Bales: Uh, but isn't that your odd boy?
Beverly: Well, he has a generous spirit, as well, by feeding and washing society's trash bin.
Adam: What do I do?
Beverly: He just finished bathing a man with the appearance and smell of pumpkin soup. Isn't that right, Adam?
Adam: Sure. I just washed a pumpkin man, I-I guess.

Adam: Can we go home?
Beverly: Yes, 'cause this is not our home, so we should go to the one that is.
Jane Bales: And which is it? Is it nearby?
Beverly: Let's just say, um, my palatial estate is right on the water and nothing like this [bleep] shack.
Murray: You hate it?
Beverly: What? Murray, no.
Murray: I heard the whole thing.
Beverly: Then yes. I-I hate it.
Jane Bales: Ohh. I'm just gonna park. [chuckles] [gear shifter clicks]
Murray: I thought this was your dream.
Beverly: Well, it is, but, like... six houses that way.
Jane Bales: Oh, more than six, honey.
Beverly: Why didn't you just ask me first?
Murray: Because I thought I was doing something special for you. I guess I thought wrong.
Jane Bales: Well, silver lining... I had a great day. [buckle clicks] Bye!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my mom could see she messed up, Erica was aiming to catch a glimpse of Bachelor Number Two.
Erica: Oh, my God! It's TV's Geoff and Mandy! You know, celebrities love interactions with the public, so let's do it.
Geoff: Erica?
Erica: Geoff? Oh, my God. Hi.
Geoff: What are you doing here? And with the guy from the coffee shop?
Erica: Oh, this strapping fella? This is Heath, and we're on a date.
Geoff: Me too. This is Mandy from... Where are you from?
Mandy: The Dating Game.
Erica: Anyway, we're together. You're together. I mean, check us out. We're like two perfect puzzle pieces. Except one puzzle piece doesn't wear deodorant.
Heath: Oh, that stuff is toxic.
Erica: Yeah, and so are the smells that it prevents.

Geoff: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were just friends being friends. You didn't come here to stop my date, did you?
Erica: Of course not! I came here to taste the sea! And all right, Mandy. It's a restaurant, not the alley behind the restaurant.
Geoff: You know... I don't get it, Erica. You broke up with me. You told me to go find myself, and that's what I'm doing. Come on, Mandy.
Mandy: [gasps] Is it shrimp time?
Geoff: Almost!