Beverly: I need to help my granddaughter. [over baby monitor] Muriel, it's Bubbe. Let my voice be your blanket.
Erica: Stop it! Geoff, pin my mom's arms!
Beverly: Muriel!
Geoff: Can't do it. There are too many scenarios where I end up in a trauma center.
Beverly: Alright. Grandma's here.
Erica: Gah! I can't be here right now! I'm taking the baby to the park. [exits]
Beverly: You did the right thing by not touching me, Geoff. You honor me with your fear. [Geoff meekly bows his head]

Erica: I think I've left the house twice in five months. Both times to pick up baby wipes. Once for the kid and once because my husband ate ribs.

Slim Goodbody: [on video] Make sure you eat a rainbow of foods every day.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, before Google, this guy was how we learned the human form.
Mr. Glascott: He is a hero of the edu-tainment world. And he was all mine. Until he bailed for his niece's bat mitzvah in Ann Arbor. I guess family is more important than $1,000.
Barry: Dollars. I heard dollars.
Adam: All for prancing around in his veiny underwear?
Mr. Glascott: Plus lodging, travel, and for some reason, 500 red M&M's.

Barry: That's enough cash for a down payment on an apartment! We're in!
Adam: We?
Mr. Glascott: In what?
Barry: Think about it. Who's crushing medical school right now, a place where they educate people about the human body?
Adam: Weirdly, you.
Barry: And who famously brings light entertainment to the school stage?
Adam: Me.
Barry: See? I'm the "edu"... you're the "tainment."
Adam: If it'll get you out of my room, I'm in! Let's edu-tain some kids!
Barry: Yes!
Mr. Glascott: History would tell me to say no, but I need to trust my leaky gut. Deal.

Erica: Okay, we should skedaddle. Geoff, can you feed the baby?
Beverly: Already handled by Mama Supreme. Milk and formula, just like you said. Then I sprinkled in some cereal to sweeten it up.
Erica: Wazdatnow?
Lauren: Wait, you gave a little baby cereal?
Beverly: Just Boo Berry. I shook the bottle to make the milk blue. She gobbled it right up. Yum-yum!
Lauren: Cereal's a choking hazard. [nervous chuckle]
Beverly: Please! Yesterday I was making shrimp parm, and I gave Muriel a prawn to gnaw on. She loved it.
Lauren: What if she has a shellfish allergy?
Erica: Yeah, what if my daughter has a shellfish allergy?
Beverly: [laughing] Can you imagine? Ah!
Lauren: Yikes. [sighs] You know, it's none of my business, but I am noticing the exposed outlets right there. You might want to consider baby-proofing.
Beverly: Oh, in this house we don't baby-proof. We Bubbe-proof. Which means that Bubbe - me - never takes her eyes off the baby - she - ever.
Lauren: C'mon, Erica. It's not her fault. She's just from a different time. Byeee!

Barry: Exactly. You guys all hate it, too. I mean, look at this pathetic puppet. Hearts don't have eyes.
Adam: You were looking for a realistic heart?
Barry: And the lady liver has a nose. Does she smell or regulate chemical levels and excrete bile?
Adam: Is that a science question? Because I don't even know where the sun goes at night.
Andy: You should probably know that.
Barry: And where is the song about the toe fungus, or the cluster migraine, or the monologue by a charred lung of a lifelong smoker?
Andy: Do kids even need to know that stuff?
Matt: Do I?
Naked Rob: Isn't this just about getting your money so you can move out?
Barry: As an almost doctor, I demand perfection. Throw it all out. Start all over.

Adam: I'm gonna do the only reasonable thing.
Barry: Everything I ask?
Adam: [as the heart puppet] I quit! [as the liver puppet] Me, too! [exits]
Barry: Fine! Good edu-tainment doesn't need the "tainment"... just the "edu". That's right. William Penn students are about to get educated.
Naked Rob: That's just school.
Matt: I don't think he gets it.
Andy: I am so happy he doesn't live with us.

Beverly: Thanks for helping me carry in my groceries.
Mr. Glascott: Oh, the pleasure is mine. [chuckles] That's a lie. I have a pinched nerve in my back, and I shouldn't be carrying these or anything else.
Beverly: Well, let me give you a tranquilizer my doctor said I didn't need, but that I demanded anyway. [cabinet doors won't open] Well, that's strange.
Mr. Glascott: Allow me. I have a sturdy core from my days of baton twirling.

Barry: This has, like, 200 bones. The human body has 206! Next.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yeah, looked like my bro had to give up. That is, until...
Barry: Stop! I just had a very meaty idea.
Matt: Is it that you're gonna make a suit outta cold cuts?
Barry: To the local meatery!