Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, no one had more romantic moments than Erica and Geoff, from their courtship to their magical wedding. But since the birth of their baby, the magic had taken a few hits, and my sister was hoping to inject a little passion back into their lives.
Geoff: Boy, that "Hush, Little Baby" lullaby is so weird. Like, why would you buy an infant a diamond ring? What's all this?
Erica: What does it look like, handsome?
Geoff: Sultry music, scented candles, dimmed lights. I'd say someone was either hoping for a romantic evening or planning on running a fortune-telling parlor out of our room.
Erica: It's the first thing. Tomorrow's our anniversary, and I want to celebrate early. Champagne?
Geoff: Whoa, you are as bubbly as this Brut. [drinks] Ooh, there goes my nose tickle.
Erica: Even your dumb talking can't ruin this. Get over here.

Beverly: [knocks on door] Hey, you two, I made you a special surprise for your anniversary.
Erica: Can it wait?
Beverly: It cannot. I call it "trout chili," and it will not keep.
Erica: We don't want that right now.
Beverly: Well, I'll just leave all 32 quarts outside your door.
Geoff: Ugh, I smell fish and peppers.
Erica: Well, just hold your nose and let's get back to business. [they kiss]

Adam: [knocks on door] Erica, solve a bet for us. Barry says he can jump to the tree outside our bedroom, but I think he's gonna die.
Barry: Impossible! I have the explosive thighs of a kangaroo. Tell him, Erica. Tell him how special my body is.
Erica: For sure, go for it!
Geoff: Wait, but that would kill Barry and the mood.
Erica: But for the few minutes while the ambulance is en route, we can get down.
Geoff: Yeah. [they kiss]

Erica: [knock on door] Oh, God! Who now?
Mr. Glascott: It's your friendly neighbor, John Glascott. Do you have a moment?
Erica: We most certainly don't!
Mr. Glascott: I'm just here to beseech you to close your curtains. I noticed that you set the stage for a boudoir dalliance, and I can see everything.
Geoff: I guess my first recommendation would be to close your curtains.
Mr. Glascott: I have delicate Venetian blinds. You would know that if you ever accepted any of my multiple invitations for coffee and Battleship.

Pop-Pop: Come on, I'll show you the back alley where you can throw your grapefruit rinds and cigar butts.
Adam: Where should I put Barry's throwing stars and private dream diaries, Mama?
Beverly: Uh, the closet?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And in that closet, I was about to discover more than my grandpa's moth-eaten sweaters a moth-eaten manuscript.
Adam: Invasion from Cosmic City by BL Goldberg!
Adult Adam: Thirty pages of an unpublished science-fiction manuscript written by my grandfather.
Adam: Pop-Pop is a nerd!
Pop-Pop: Hey, who told you you could read that?
Adam: Sorry. I'm just so excited to find out that you're just... like me!
Pop-Pop: An oddball? Ah, no way.
Adam: And yet you are. It's like Pops taught me how to be kind and be a man, and you and I share something almost as important made-up aliens and jetpacks.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While I learned my grouchy grandpa and I were sort of similar, Geoff and Erica had learned how hard it was to get time to themselves.
Barry: [enters] A good morning to all creatures, both jacked and puny.
Erica: Why are you so happy? And, Geoff, where's my toast?
Geoff: I'm not a wizard, Erica. I can't make the toaster toast faster.

Barry: Come on. The most important thing in a relationship is to make time for each other.
Erica: We tried that, but this house is a zoo, and the animals are my family.
Barry: Yes, it's well-established, we're the worst.
Joanne: Wait a minute. Babe, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Barry: Five. No. Twelve.
Joanne: It's not a number, it's the Secunda Hotel.
Barry: Of course.
Joanne: Uh-huh.
Barry: Joanne just helped the concierge work out a few legal issues, and he gifted us a free night.
Joanne: And we'd like to re-gift it to you guys for your anniversary.
Erica: What? That's so nice of you.
Barry: Our lives are going so well, dear sister. We must spread our joy to the less fortunate. Is it seven?
Joanne: Yes.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With that, Erica and Geoff tried again to reboot their f*re for each other with a romantic hotel getaway.
Geoff: [knock at door] Coming, my sexy wife! I think you're really gonna like the accommodat-
Erica: Sorry I'm late. I had to swing home.
Geoff: Oh, uh, I see that, but why did you bring our daughter? Don't get me wrong, big fan.
Erica: I just couldn't leave her.
Geoff: Well, she is the best. Aren't you?
Erica: Look how amazing this room is. Ooh, and how comfy that bed looks.
Geoff: It does, doesn't it? [baby voice] Doesn't it?
Erica: Here's a thought. Why don't you put down our girl, and I'm gonna take a quick catnap on this bad boy, and then you and I, mister, are gonna get on the train to Sexy Town.
Geoff: Well, punch my ticket, 'cause I'm all aboard. Choo-choo! [Erica is fast asleep] Uh, babe? [Erica snores] Fun.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Erica and Geoff's getaway hit a snag, I was stuck on the idea that Pop-Pop and I shared the same interests.
Beverly: What's the matter, light of my loins? You haven't touched your Boo Berry.
Adam: I just can't get over it. Pop-Pop loves sci-fi, too. I just wish he would talk about it.
Beverly: Well, I guess your Pop-Pop couldn't handle that publisher's rejection.
Adam: My whole life has been people making fun of me and bullying me, but I don't run away. Unless the bully is an above-average-size person, or an average-size person, or a tiny-but-aggressive person. You never know what those people will do.

Beverly: Remember, Schmoo, Pop-Pop didn't have something that the Goldberg kids were blessed with.
Adam: A diet of oddly cheesed meats?
Beverly: Me. He had to face his defeats with no support system. Maybe you can connect with Pop-Pop by encouraging him.
Adam: But I can't do what you do, especially not for someone as defensive and awful as Pop-Pop.
Beverly: I am the greatest ego booster in the history of mankind, and I can teach you.