Gus: Dude, what are you doing? No. Just act normal. Lose the hat. Come on.
Barry: But Zeus Alexander Washington always wears a hat.
Gus: Oh, no. That's your name? That's too many letters, dude. That's too weird. It's too stupid.
Barry: I like my second choice better anyway. James Bond.
Gus: Taken.
Barry: Barry Bonds.
Gus: Also taken.
Barry: Barry Fakington!
Erica: What's wrong with you? Just pick a normal name already.
Barry: Barry Goldberg!
Erica: That's your name.
Barry: Erica Goldberg.
Erica: Idiot, that is my name!
Barry: Sir Richard Chamberlain.
Erica: Stop panicking!
Barry: Mr. Clock Table.
Gus: Now you're just saying things you see.

Barry: Why don't we cruise down to Wawa and buy you a whole bunch more?
Murray: I'm not gonna buy you beer, moron.
Barry: Pardon me? That's not what I'm asking you for. I'm just I'm looking for a fun father-son activity, you know? Like like buying beer. Or making beer. That'd be fun, right? Let's go buy some yeast and barley, and start bonding in the bathtub.

Barry: Dad!
Erica: Shut up.
Barry: Dad! You know he always comes on the third "dad", because he can't ignore it any more. And the man won't be happy because he'll have to walk the stairs. He hates to walk the stairs.
Erica: I don't care. I'm not helping you.
Barry: Dad!
Murray: What?! Why are you calling my name? What do you want? The hell's so damn important that you make me walk the stairs?