Beverly: Slow down. What's wrong?
Barry: I didn't get into the talent show.
Beverly: I don't understand.
Barry: They rejected me.
Beverly: That literally makes no sense.
Barry: Everyone who auditioned got in but me.
Beverly: I hear what you're saying, but I cannot wrap my mind around that.
Barry: Mr. Glascott said my routine was too inappropriate.
Beverly: How is being a perfect kara-te angel inappropriate?

Adam: Are you crying?
Barry: [voice breaks] No. No! They're warrior's tears, and it doesn't matter. The school said no. I'll never cobra strike again!

Beverly: No one tells my baby he can't cobra strike.

Beverly: Mr. Glascott! I need to speak to you immediately.
Mr. Glascott: Oh, I'm sorry. I have an important morning meeting with the kids from the math club.
Beverly: The nerds can wait. My son Barry Goldberg cannot.
Mr. Glascott: Are you Beverly Goldberg?
Beverly: Oh, yes, I am.

Beverly: Tell me, what kind of educator stomps on the dreams of his students?
Mr. Glascott: Look, Barry's a good kid, which is kinda why I discouraged him from taking part in the show. See, some of the more high-profile students here can be very critical, if you follow me.
Beverly: I really don't.
Mr. Glascott: The popular kids here are real douche-sacks. Last year, one kid did a lovely ventriloquist act. The kids well, they did unspeakable things to that doll after the show. Quite frankly, it was very jarring. And Barry's karate is really ripe for that type of ridicule.

Beverly: Uh, this is high school, not "Star Search". I mean, who died and made you Ed McMahon?
Mr. Glascott: Mr. Johansson. Our gym teacher. He died.
Beverly: Okay, it doesn't matter.

Beverly: Barry is doing that show. I will go to the top on this. I'll petition the principal, the school board, the superintendent, the mayor's office, the U.S. Secretary of Education, if I have to. So what's it gonna be, Andre?
Mr. Glascott: You know my name.
Beverly: I know everything.

Barry: I got into the talent show!
Beverly: (Gasps) That's good news, and very surprising to me.
Barry: Mr. Glascott said the tri-state talent show committee met and ruled that kara-te is an art form.
Murray: Wow, the tri-state talent show committee met. You know, that's almost unbelievable!
Beverly: Well, it happened, so let's just move on.
Adam: Oh, man, we're back in business! Let's get to work!
Barry: I'll go get my nunchucks and firecrackers.
Murray: No firecrackers!

Murray: So you threatened a teacher?
Beverly: Please. I just gently suggested that he do what I say, or there'd be dire consequences.
Murray: Why is it you go trotting down to the school and yell at somebody every time one of our kids doesn't get their way?
Beverly: I'm involved. That's a good thing.

Beverly: I had no choice, Murray. Have you even seen Barry do kara-te? It's like a beautiful ballet, but with punching and grunting and rolling around.