Pops: Whoa, stop! Don't park your pants at the door. Rumor has it you're going alfresco.
Murray: Oh, damn it. I forgot. I miss my underpants.
Pops: Ah, you'll get used to it. I've been going alfresco since the '70s.

Murray: What the hell?
Pops: TV's gone, mur.
Murray: Yeah, I see that.
Pops: Beverly took it.
Murray: I figured that.
Pops: You lost the war, pal.
Murray: Stop talking.

Pops: You know, I've been watching these fish for 10 minutes, and I got to tell you, it's some entertaining stuff. These two fish, they're complete opposites. They'll never get along, but they have to. They live in close quarters.
Murray: Stop talking!

Beverly: Isn't it great? It's like being in the lobby of a Benihana. And the best part about it is you need to constantly tend to it.

Beverly: So sue me if I want you to sit in a chair that's not a disgusting fart trap that ruins the scheme of my entire living room.

Beverly: Listen, I was just at the goodwill, and I was told that you purchased something that I need. That's my chair, sweetie.
Nitrous: No way, lady. I will never give you my chair. This thing's my throne. It's shaped perfectly to my body.
Beverly: Not your body, my husband's body, which also is very similar to your body.

Beverly: You don't need boobs. You need your laundry done. You need your bed made. You need to scour every surface in this house before one of you gets a wicked staph infection.
Nitrous: It's just, we don't know how.
Beverly: Mama's here, Nitrous.

Beverly: Stop it! Those are exaggerated body movements.

Adam: There's this kid who's making my life hell, and if you were there, he'd leave me alone.
Barry: I do have an air of badass about me.

Beverly: Here you go, sweetie. Straight out of the radioactive heat box.
Erica: Oh, it's like eating egg-flavored newspaper.