Geoff: We're looking for a lost cheesesteak.
Digby Yates: Hey, here's a fun fact... The, uh, Philly-style steak sandwich was invented in the 1930s, but cheese was not added until the '40s.
Murray: Just tell me where my sandwich is.
[cut to:]
Ned Frank: Let me take a look. Mm. Definitely not in the bottom of this can.
[back:]
Digby Yates: You know, the French have their own version of hide-and-seek. It's called "Sardines." A little fun twist, though, there's only one hider. [chuckling] Everybody else seeks.
Murray: He's a bit off. I'm out of here.

Barry: What the hell?
Erica: I'm shutting this whole operation down. Barry, you're fired.
Barry: Fine! I'm taking my Zen garden as severance.

Geoff: Erica, what are you doing?
Erica: What I should have done days ago. Geoff, you've always taken care of me, especially last year, when I was finding myself. But now it's time for me to take care of you. Unless you like this terrible business.
Geoff: I hate it so much! I've gotten three speeding tickets, Barry's spent all my money, all the neighborhood dads are weirdos, and my car permanently smells like moo shu pork.

Beverly: Well, I wanted to invite you here to apologize for Murray's cheesesteak witch hunt.
Janice Bartlett: Your cooking must be slipping if Murray's been ordering out so much.
Margot Letien: Yeah, I'll say. Your husband's at the drive-thru so often, they gave him his own lane.
Beverly: I like you. We should power-walk.
Digby Yates: Fun fact about walking... The animal with the fastest recorded walk, African bush elephant.
Margot Letien: I thought it was the last woman you tried to talk to.
Digby Yates: Oh, no. She ran.
Beverly: You guys have some fun banter going on.
Janice Bartlett: Yeah. It's been a while since we were all together.
Ned Frank: Afternoon, everybody.
All: Ned!
Ned Frank: Beer me, please.
Beverly: Oh, I'm sorry. We just ran out.
Ned Frank: I'll be at the bar down the street.
Digby Yates: Me too.
Margot Letien: Ooh, yeah. I'm coming.
Beverly: They seem fun.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the day, my mom always invaded my personal space. She was famous for her snuggies, huggies, kissies, and her signature move, the nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
Beverly: Good morning! Here's your nom! Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!
Adam: Eh, right! Like the movie Good Morning, Vietnam, except people liked that.
Beverly: That Mork is so talented. I wish he'd make a Vietnam Part Two. Going in for another scoop. [inhales sharply] Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!
Adam: Enough! This has to stop! I'm cutting you off cold turkey!
Beverly: What? At least let me taper off. [chuckles] This mama's gotta nom-ma. Nom-nom-nom...
Adam: I mean it! This is your last nom.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] I had stopped my mom cold, but when life closes one door, my mom crashes through another.
Beverly: Oh, look who sent you a brochure. Calgary State Bible College.
Adam: Sounds cold and religious.
Beverly: Oh, you're not going to this garbage school. But remember when you were blabbing about adult-y adventures and viciously cutting me out of your life?
Adam: Sounds like for sure you do.
Beverly: Well, this means that your college phase is here, and you're gonna need your mama to help get you in.
Adam: Or I just say yes to these religious Eskimos and we're good to go.
Beverly: No, silly. I'm gonna be on you night and day to make sure you get into the best college there is.
Adam: Night? Day? But those are all the times.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom was determined to use college as a way to get close to me. Way too close.
Beverly: Quick! What's the square root of 144?
Adam: Naked body! Scared!
Beverly: College admissions boards won't be as forgiving as I am, Adam.
Adam: Mom, please! This is humiliating!
Beverly: Humiliating? Try telling your friends your kid got deferred at Tufts.
Adam: Gah!

Beverly: Ta-da! It's your college collage to put above your bed so you can look at it before you go to sleep and dream about college.
Adam: Yeah, I'll never do that. But is that my head glued onto a dude playing Frisbee?
Beverly: It is.
Adam: This is the energy I can expect from you until I actually get into college?
Beverly: I'm super excited, too! Oh, this is gonna be such a fun journey, study buddy. Mwah!

Dana: Look, I'm sure this will blow over soon. Erica and Barry just moved out. Your mom just needs time to adjust.
Adam: Yeah, you're probably right.
Beverly: [sings to the tune of YMCA] U-C-L-A You're going to U-C-L-A It's in Hollywood You're a big movie geek And your mama will fly out each week [talks] Another brochure came in the mail for you today.
Adam: From UCLA?
Beverly: That's right, study buddy! [sings] You're going to U-C-L-A

Erica: JTP?
All: JTP.
Erica: Geoff's broken. Fix him.
Geoff: Thanks, hon. Love you. Oh, she's gone.
Barry: Broken, huh? What are we talking about? Mental? Emotional? Physical? Pop off your shirt so we can see what we're working with.
Geoff: No, it's not body-related. I just need to figure out a way to fill my days and quiet my shrieking mind.
Barry: Lucky for you, your lazy girlfriend dumped you on the right friend group. Now pop off your shirt.
Geoff: Stop trying to undress me.