Dave Kim: You guys ready to eat?
Adam: Nice! What are we thinking? Some pizza? Classic New York 'za? [laughter]
Dave Kim: I told you he was funny. We're going to an Ethiopian place we've grown quite fond of.
Adam: Ethiopia? Sounds familiar, but my brother threw my globe at a bird's nest.
Dave Kim: It's amazing! You sit on the floor and you pick up this special spongy bread with your hands.
Adam: Or we walk across the street to that novelty hamburger place.
Dave Kim: Burger, Comedy and Magic?
Adam: Check, check, and check.

Tamsin: [British accent] I don't eat meat.
Adam: Oh, my God. There's, like, nothing left.
Tamsin: Fruits and vegetables.
Adam: Oh, just like the mighty... [Australian accent] koala bear from your country.
Dave Kim: Adam, she's not Australian. She's from the UK.
Adam: [normal voice] Sorry. I have Australia on the brain. I just re-watched Crocodile Dundee.
Fitz: Ah, I love Croc Dundee.
Adam: Awesome! Looks like me and Fitz have a lot in common.
Fitz: I like it ironically, of course. At best it's an embarrassment to an entire continent.
Adam: Sure. [chuckles] That's one way to like it. What about you, Brett? What do you hate?
Brett: Corporate America. It's exploiting our workforce all to worship at the altar of the almighty dollar.
Adam: And you took my question seriously. 0 for 3.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, I wasn't in a groove with Dave Kim's new friends. But once we were all in our Halloween costumes, I was sure it'd all be smoothed out. But there was this wrinkle.
Adam: Dude, when you said you were going as Leonardo, I assumed you meant the Ninja Turtle!
Dave Kim: No, I-I'm getting that.
Adam: But what I'm not getting, Dave Kim, is who you're supposed to be.
Dave Kim: Leonardo. Da Vinci? The artist! We're all dressed as artists. Kahlo, Picasso, Van Gogh.
Adam: Oh. Of course. [chuckles] I definitely know those names.
Dave Kim: Why don't we just sit and have a nice meal and you'll discover how much you like these people like I do?
[As Dave Kim and Adam go to sit down at the table, Adam falls to the floor onto his back]
Adam: Oh! Aw, damn it! I'm turtling! Any one, who wants to help me?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] I had finally gotten out of my shell, but was still feeling uncomfortable around Dave Kim's college friends.
Dave Kim: Isn't this food just divine?
Adam: My favorite is this brown pile. Totally unfamiliar to my tongue, like an odd paste from across the sea.
Tamsin: Oh, that's the buticha. It's a chickpea dip. You can either enjoy it on its own or with the injera bread.
Adam: What if I don't enjoy it either way?
Brett: It's not your fault, man. Big agriculture has been feeding you lies. You gotta expand your horizons, put your mouth on the world.
Adam: I once had a satay at EPCOT.

Dave Kim: Hey, did you guys know that Adam's a filmmaker?
Tamsin: Hm.
Fitz: Anything indie?
Adam: Oh, yeah! I did a whole tribute to Indiana Jones.
Fitz: Ironically?
Adam: I don't think so. I made the Ark of the Covenant with the gold foil from a thousand Rolos.
Brett: So you're part of the big Hollywood machine cranking out circuses for the sheep?
Adam: Fingers crossed.

Tamsin: You know what I just saw in the cinema? Mannequin.
Adam: Oh, hell yeah! A well-done fantasy romance? Yes, please!
Tamsin: At best, it's sexist rubbish.
Adam: I thought it was about an assistant window dresser who falls in love with a mannequin who comes to life at night because of an ancient Egyptian curse.
Tamsin: Exactly. It's an adolescent male director's valentine to misogyny.
Adam: And with sassy Meshach Taylor as comic relief. Dave Kim, tell 'em. You loved it.
Dave Kim: It was everything wrong with humanity in a tight 90 minutes.

Adam: What's going on with you? You love popcorn movies.
Dave Kim: I've expanded my horizons. That's what you do in college.
Adam: Oh, like your little DJ setup?
Dave Kim: I'll have you know I'm the most sought-after MC on the third floor of the west annex of Hayden dorm.
Brett: DKNY is being modest. He's quite the impresario.
Adam: Impresario?
Fitz: He means DKNY throws the best parties.
Adam: I get it. Some classic Fitz irony.
Tamsin: He's serious. DKNY is a modern-day Gatsby.
Dave Kim: What can I say? I'm the straw that stirs the drink. [laughter] [glasses clink]
Adam: So you're saying you could throw a party anytime anywhere?
Dave Kim: Anyway. Anyhow.
Adam: Then what a better time than this weekend? I'd love to go to an epic DKNY Halloween bash. Unless, of course, you can't pull it together in time.
Dave Kim: Oh, I'll pull it together. I'll pull it together and cement my reputation as NYU's burgeoning bon vivant.
Tamsin: [chanting] Bon vivant! [others join in] Bon vivant! Bon vivant!
Adam: Stop that! That's not something people chant!

Geoff: Isn't this nice?
Erica: Oh, you mean spending two hours packing up baby crap so that we can sleep in a musty, empty shore house?
Geoff: The perfect Halloween. No ghost, ghouls... or, even more frightening, your mother.
Erica: I get it. She's a lot. But you knew that when we chose to live with her.
Geoff: What I didn't know is that I would never get a single, solitary moment alone with my own child.
Erica: Well, now you're safe, and I have no help for the next few days. Thanks for no sleep or showers in advance.
Geoff: Fear not, my skeptical queen. I'll take care of everything.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] But there was one thing he missed.
Beverly: [gasps] Ohh! Muriel's diaper cream! Oh, her sweet delicious tushie is unprotected!

Adam: You know what's great about no one being here? Plenty of room to dance.
Dave Kim: Sure. Ha ha. But it's still early.
Adam: Still early to hit the streets and trick-or-treat like old times?
Dave Kim: DKNY will wait it out.
Adam: DKNY? Ugh. Just drop the act already! You're not an international impresario. You're just my dorky friend from Jenkintown.
Dave Kim: I was your dorky friend from Jenkintown. I've changed. That's what happens when you go to college. But you wouldn't know that, would you?
Adam: Please! You're just a big fat phony!
Tamsin: [American accent] Hey! Not cool, man! People are allowed to change.
Adam: What happened to your British accent?
Tamsin: Oh, I'm actually from Tucson. I just thought it would make me sound more interesting.
Fitz: And I only recently learned the definition of irony. I can admit, I abuse the word.
Brett: I know it seems like I rage against the machine, but that's only because I'm part of it. My dad owns 11 White Castles.
Adam: Oh, my God! You're all phonies!
Dave Kim: There's nothing phony about a fresh start. I was excited to share my new life with you, but you just want me to be the same loser from high school. Congrats, Adam. You won.