Murray: Beverly! You recorded my Eagles game!
Beverly: Oh, I can explain. Uh, Adam did it.
Adam: Me?
Beverly: He's our common enemy that we can all rally against. Just go with it. It's fun.
Adam: Forget this. I'm going to the basement to play with my real friends, Mario and Luigi.
Pop-Pop: Uch. They sound like they have accents.

Pop-Pop: Anyway, sorry about your stupid game. I was just trying to get the parade, and I pressed, uh, one of your fancy VCR buttons.
Beverly: But why would you turn on the parade during Murray's game?
Pop-Pop: What? Are you another parade hater?
Murray: You ruined my game.
Beverly: But the Eagles won!
Murray: They won?
Pop-Pop: Back to the parade. [tape rewinds] Oh! Did it again.
Murray: They won in overtime on a Hail Mary pass! This is literally the worst day of my life!

Lou: Hey, hey, hey. Murray, you see the game? Holy crap! What a doozy!
Geoff: I hate football, and even I thought it was thrilling, like watching a movie about football.
Lou: Such a doozy!
Linda: Oh, I could really feel the city around us come alive in those last few moments.
Lou: A doozy!
Murray: We get it. You saw the game, okay? And for some reason, you keep saying "doozy."
Geoff: Erica said this night would make us question everything. By the way, where is my little Turkey Day buffer?

Erica: [speaking quickly on phone] Hi, Mom, it's Erica. We're gonna be late because Marvin pulled a Marvin, and we're in the skies over Pittsburgh. Okay, see you soon, bye.
Marvin: You see? No problem. Uncle Marvelous will have you guys home lickety-split. [PA chimes]
Pilot: [v.o.] Bad news, folks. Due to some unforeseen weather in Philadelphia, we are being diverted to Nashville.
Marvin: That announcement could have been for any flight.

Marvin: Let me guess. That other moron son of mine pulled a Marvin?
Beverly: He did, in fact, pull his namesake. But, uh, let me pull a Beverly and drop another veggie platter.
Pop-Pop: Oh, screw this. There's only so much jicama a man can eat.
Murray: Dad, don't go.
Pop-Pop: Hmm?
Murray: Now you can.

Beverly: [answers phone] Where the hell are you?
Erica: A motel in Nashville.
Marvin: Ho... [takes phone] That's a "ho-tel." Hotel, with an "H" there, Bevy. And Uncle Marvin has got this, okay?
Beverly: What you've got are my children in Tennessee.
Marvin: Yeah, well, you're the only "Ten I see." [chuckles] Is that helping?
Beverly: No. Get them home, now.
Marvin: Okay, Uncle Marvin's on the case. Don't worry, you're gonna see your kids tomorrow or sometime next week. Ta! [hangs up phone] Okay, here's the headline... That "Ten I see" line doesn't work over the phone.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Despite my Mom's hopes for a perfect Thanksgiving, it had all come crashing down. Specifically, my grandfather's old body.
Lou: Let me look at you. I'm a doctor.
Pop-Pop: You? A doctor? Eh, eh, no way.
Linda: He's a very well-regarded ophthalmologist.
Pop-Pop: Great. If I need a pair of glasses for my knee, I'll let him know.
Lou: This man is a pill!
Pop-Pop: Which is something you can't prescribe from your LensCrafters in the mall.
Murray: Dad! He's just trying to be helpful.

Beverly: But you guys are welcome to stay here and enjoy each other's...
Linda: Lou, we forgot our coats.
Lou: We have more at home. Keep it moving.
Geoff: Thanks, Mrs. G. I-I'm thankful for those delicious smells and the vague sense that my girlfriend is alive somewhere out there.

Marvin: Wakey-wakey. Guess which cool uncle solved all your problems.
Erica: Thank God. You got us on another flight?
Marvin: Better. I scored us a ride with a stranger I met at the ice machine.
Barry: What?
Marvin: Crazy story... I was filling up the bathtub for my road turkey...
Erica: Ham.
Marvin: ...and then, on the tenth trip, I met this guy who was so displeased with the fact that I was taking all the ice, so I blamed it on the folks in room 702. [chuckles] What's their story? Anyway, now we're best friends, and I scored us a ride to Philly.
Erica: This seems like the start of a horror movie.
Barry: Or a great friendship. I like the sound of this mysterious ice fella.
Marvin: I'm glad you dig it because we leave in 20. Trust me, the rest of the way is gonna be sweet and easy.

Erica: We were five freaking minutes from home, and now we're on some deserted Southern road with only a ham to our name.
Marvin: This is the finest turkey in all the land!
Erica: It's a ham! And the only turkey around here is you.
Marvin: Listen, I made mistakes, okay? But you're still on my team, right, Bar?
Barry: I used to think you pulling a Marvin was hilarious, but, honestly, now it's kind of sad. We're gonna find our own way home.