Beverly: You stole my credit card to pay for a party?
Erica: No idea what you're talking about.
Beverly: Uh, hello? "Erica Goldberg's Valentine's Day Disco is Dead Party"! Your name is right there.
Erica: Oh, that's the other Erica Goldberg in school. I'm Erica F. Goldberg.
Beverly: No, that's Adam's stupid thing! And nobody cares about his dumb feud with the other Adam, anyway.

Lainey: We've all come together to say that we want the old Erica back.
Andy: Yeah, we want the Erica from the last three years. You know, you were so confident and talented.
Naked Rob: But this year, you're weak and sad and boy-crazy.
Erica: Thank you for that honest assessment, Barry's interchangeable friends.
Naked Rob: Ouch.
Andy: I know. I get it.

Adam: Come on, our home movies always come first. You know the saying flicks before chicks.

Beverly: Oh, my poor sweetie. I'll be in your little movie.
Adam: No. Stop right there.
Beverly: [singing as Marilyn Monroe] Happy Birthday to you.

Coach Mellor: All right, everyone, meet your new teammate. Kid's got zero experience, but he makes up for it by showing up.
Adam: Hi. I'm Adam. Pumped to play some tennis, but I hear it's a real "racket." Yeah, that's what I bring to the table.
Coach Mellor: Ah, yikes, off to a rough start.

Lainey: Hey, sweetie. How are things?
Erica: So good. Do you have any ranch dressing I can pour into this chip bag?
Lainey: Like, on me, in the hallway?
Erica: Just give me the ranch dressing!
Lainey: I don't have ranch dressing!

Lainey: Okay, we need to help that girl.
Mr. Glascott: This sounds like a job for the bodacious guidance counselor that all the kids adore and respect.
Lainey: First of all, your constant lurking is really jarring.
Mr. Glascott: Can't a guy stand around teenagers, waiting for some juicy gossip without being judged?
Lainey: No.

Erica: Okay, what the hell is going on?
Mr. Glascott: This is called an intervention. It's a new craze sweeping the nation. I read a pamphlet and everything.
Beverly: I've been intervening in her life for years. It's so exciting to finally do it in a professional setting.

Mr. Glascott: You're up next, big fella.
Murray: Erica, I was at work when your mom called me, and I fought through traffic to get here, and what I'm really trying to say is, what is this?
Beverly: Oh, Murray, you're not helping.
Murray: I know I'm not helping because I don't know what this is.

Adam: Aah! Oh! Sorry, I've never been this close to sports before, but it's gonna be fun.