Geoffrey: [sings] Good morning, Good morning, We danced the whole night through, Good morning, Good morning, To you.
Will: Must be what it sounds like to wake up in Little Richard's crib.

Will: Hey, look, all I'm saying is, just 'cause he own the crib and pay all the bills and everything, he think he can tell us what to do. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I ain't having it. I think it's time for somebody to straighten him out. [sees Uncle Phil behind him] Step to it, Ash.
Philip: Will, we're going to go down and help rebuild the old neighborhood and I don't want any attitude from you.

Philip: Hold it, young lady. I want you to go upstairs and change your clothes. We're meeting Reverend Williams and the church group in half an hour.
Hilary: Excuse me?
Ashley: You said you'd come down to the old neighborhood with us. Remember?
Hilary: I also said Daddy lost weight.
Philip: Hilary, go change your clothes. Now! This is too important. I'm not gonna let you get out of this.

Vivian: Philip, look at my hair. I can't go out like this. I gotta go to the salon.
Philip: Well, you went yesterday, sweetheart that's why we couldn't have lunch together.
Vivian: Right, you're right. Henri tried something new, do you like it, huh?
Philip: [stammers]
Vivian: Will, what do you think? Will!
Will: Well, actually, Aunt Viv, you got a kind of a Don King... Kris Kross, Bride of Frankenthing going. Not many people could pull it off. You know, as you're proving, right, but... What, Carlton?
Philip: Vivian, where were you yesterday?
Vivian: Shooting baskets with Michael Jordan.
Will: [to Uncle Phil] You know, Clair would never talk to Cliff like that.

Carlton: Yo, my brother, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. It's Hammer time.
Will: Sorry about that, man, you know, you have to excuse my cousin you know, he's an idiot.

Will: Yo, what's up, baby? Hurry up, write your number down before I don't want it no more. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. How are you doing? I'm Will and this is my cousin, Carlton.
Simone: Hi, I'm Simone. Thanks for coming down. I'm going to show you what to do.
Carlton: And I'm going to buy you a car.
Simone: No, thanks. But I do need a strong pair of arms.
Will: That would be me. I got that. Carlton can't help you, he's on the debate team.
Simone: Really, I'm captain of my debate team.
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Simone, where you want me to go with this?
Simone: Oh, how about over there somewhere, like, say, Cleveland?
Will: Tell me to go to Cleveland, mushroom head.

Will: Do you believe this mess, man? I thought we was here to work.
Noah: Don't even sweat it, man. Most of those fools ain't coming back here, anyway. A few more months, everybody's conscience will be cleared and things will be back to status quo.
Will: Half these people don't even understand what really went down here, man.
Noah: Yeah. Hey, I'm Noah, man.
Will: Hey, what's up? Will.

Carlton: And then when I was 12, I played Maria in an all-boy production of West Side Story.
Simone: Carlton, slow down. I want to hear more about your collection of Sea-Monkeys.
Carlton: Will you marry me?
Will: Well, there go the nerdyweds.

Philip: Vivian, wait. Now, you cannot avoid me all day. Now, where were you yesterday?
Vivian: Philip, I love you sweetheart. Trust me, you're my husband.
Philip: And, as your husband, I have a right to an explanation.
Vivian: And, as your wife... when I think of something, you'll be the first one to know.
Philip: Don't- I'm not finished with you yet, woman.
Vivian: Well, I'm through with you, man.
Philip: [to a bystander] Yeah, that's right, I'm bad.

Philip: Oh, my God. Hector? Yeah, what? Wait... Wait a minute, I know you. Yeah, ain't you the guy from Family Matters? Yes!
Philip: No, I'm Philip. Philip Banks.
Hector: Curly?
Philip: Yeah.
Hector: Oh, my God!
Will: Curly? They must go way back.