Philip: Wonderful. First Will, now Ashley. I can't wait till Ice Box gets here.
Will: No, it's Ice Tray, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Oh, Ice Tray. I apologize. Ice Box would be an idiotic name.
Will: Yeah, it would.

Will: What's up with Smooth, Jocko, and O-Money?
Ice Tray: Oh, man, Smooth and Jocko got their own singing group now. And O-Money got his hair cut to look like the Chrysler Building.
Will: Yo, hey, that's good, though, man. That Mount Rushmore thing was not working.
Ice Tray: Oh, this is dope, man. I'm just going to kick back here for a few days, let somebody else do all the work.
Philip: Excuse me, young man. In this house, everyone carries his own weight.
Ice Tray: [looks to Will and then back at Phil] Too easy.

Vivian: It's nice to see you and Ice Tray getting along. I'm sorry he couldn't stay longer.
Hilary: Oh, don't worry, Mom, I've got it all figured out. He can come visit every other weekend. And then when the 10th grade lets out, he can come stay in the pool house, and Daddy can get him a job at the office.
Vivian: Well, what job could he possibly have in the law firm?
Hilary: I don't know. Lawyer? Anyways, Mom, don't worry. This is our problem, not yours. The only thing I want to say is thank you.
Vivian: For what?
Hilary: Well, you, like, saw right past his rough-tough exterior and you welcomed him into our home. I'm so proud of you, Mom. I just want to share my joy with you. I haven't been this happy since I bought my Giorgio Armani suit.

Vivian: That's it. I want him out of this house.
Philip: Oh, Vivian. Vivian, you're making the classic mistake. Don't you know that? I have the perfect solution for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick.
Vivian: You do?
Philip: My street savvy should not be taken lightly. She's rebelling against us.
Vivian: So?
Philip: So any hostility will only drive her closer to him. We have to embrace him, Vivian, welcome him into the family take him out for a nice meal, smother him with acceptance. Once the element of rebellion is gone, the relationship will lose its appeal.
Vivian: And what if that doesn't work?
Philip: Oh, it'll work.

Geoffrey: Sir, Master Tray's all packed and ready to depart.
Philip: Excellent, Geoffrey. Let's afford him everything we can in getting him on his way.
Geoffrey: So, shall I call for a car, sir, or just shoot him out of a cannon?

Vivian: No, you listen to me. Now, I can see why you like Ice Tray. He's a lot of fun. Everything's a joke to him. School, work, people. He doesn't care about anything.
Will: Yeah, well, he always managed to care about me.
Vivian: Well, I'm glad he's a good friend, but that doesn't change who he is. I'm sorry, but a young man his age should be able to do something else besides fight and jump fences.
Will: You weren't there.
Vivian: I know, but still-
Will: Look, when I was in seventh grade, every time I tried to bring books home from school, the kids would jump me, so Tray started walking me home. And if he hadn't been there to throw those punches and help me jump those fences then maybe I wouldn't be here.
Vivian: While he was busy protecting your books, where the hell were his?
Will: What's that got to do with anything?
Vivian: Will, I'm glad he cared so much about you. But why doesn't he care as much about himself?
Will: Because nobody was there for Tray. You ever think that if he hadn't been there to cover my back, maybe I wouldn't care about myself either.
Vivian: And that would be an awful waste.

Ice Tray: Snap. I almost forgot. I got a little something for y'all.
Philip: That's our china dog.
Ice Tray: Yeah. I figured y'all were so nice to me and everything that I don't need it. [laughs] That was a joke. [to Hilary] Hey.
Hilary: Hey. You've become a part of my spirit that's never been touched before. I feel a oneness with you, and now that you're leaving I just have this sense that life will be empty, hollow, and meaningless.
Ice Tray: Well, peep this, babe. See, I have this first-class ticket. We could go down to the airport and trade it for two coach tickets and you could come back to Philly with me. What do you think?
Hilary: Coach?

Will: You know where you get the best cheese steaks in Philly? Pat's Steaks on Passyunk Avenue. Me and my buddy Ice Tray used to go there every Friday. Man, we used to steal- I mean, we would enjoy them there often.
Ashley: Ice Tray? Isn't he the one you're always talking about?
Will: Did I ever tell you about the story in the middle of the winter, right? Ice Tray grabbed onto the back of a bus, right, and it was so cold, his face got stuck got stuck to the bus. And he was being dragged around the city, and he couldn't get off till he hit a bump on the Ben Franklin Bridge.
Philip: Well, that's a story we can all relate to.

Will: Aunt Viv, this is going to be great. I can't wait to show him all the strange sights of L.A. I don't even know where to begin. I'll take him to Disneyland, to Marineland-
Hilary: [enters] Dad, I need $200.
Will: I'll take him to Hilaryland.

Vivian: Ice Tray, we didn't hear you come in. Geoffrey, did you leave the door open?
Geoffrey: Well, no.
Vivian: I guess we must have left it unlocked.
Ice Tray: [as Geoffrey] "Well, no."
Will: You still got it, man.