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‘Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy

105. Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy

Aired October 8, 1990

When Will feels home sick for Philly, Aunt Viv invites one of his old friends, Ice Tray (Don Cheadle), to come visit.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: Why do you need $200, Hilary?
Hilary: For books. I'm changing my major.
Vivian: To what?
Hilary: Communications.
Philip: And exactly what does that entail?
Hilary: You know, it's like... You know, it's communications. You know, it's, like, the study of communicating, okay?
Will: Why do you want to major in that?
Hilary: Because I'm good at it.

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Quote from Philip

Vivian: This is serious. Hilary wants him to live in our pool house.
Philip: Well, that shouldn't matter to you, Vivian. You're the one who invited Ashtray. In fact, why don't we invite some more of Will's friends out? Let's just put a big neon sign out in front of the house that says "Homeboy Hotel."

Quote from Will

Carlton: So you're also a disadvantaged inner-city youth, I hear.
Ice Tray: Yo, man, what's with him?
Will: It's a tan.

Quote from Geoffrey

Vivian: Geoffrey, have you seen Will?
Geoffrey: Master William sits in his room sadly staring out of the window, madam, quiet as a church mouse. Hasn't spoken a word for hours. What a shame.

Quote from Ashley

Vivian: Oh, cut it out, Philip. He misses his friend.
Will: Ice Tray's more like my big brother, though.
Vivian: Well, I've got a good idea. Why don't we fly him out for a weekend visit?
Will: You mean it, Aunt Viv? I'm down with that.
Ashley: Word up. This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip.
Philip: What did you say, young lady?
Ashley: Oh, I said that this is quite an exceptional idea, Daddy. Peachy-keen, even. Later, my man.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Hi, I'm Vivian, Will's aunt. Will, why don't you introduce Ice Tray to your family?
Will: I'm sorry. This is my little cousin Ashley.
Ice Tray: Hi.
Will: This is my bodyguard, Geoffrey. All of this is my Uncle Phil. Remember we used to say that Daffy Duck must have a little brother somewhere? Meet my cousin Carlton.

Quote from Will

Ice Tray: Hold up. What about that one girl you went out with... that Latiqua? Man, that girl was ugly.
Will: Ugly? You crazy, man.
Ice Tray: She was so ugly, she was oogly. She was so ugly, that Freddy Krueger used to have nightmares about her.
Will: At least she was smart, though. What was that girl you was with...
Both: Stacy.
Will: That girl was so dumb, it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.
Ice Tray: Wait a minute. Let's talk about skinny girls, okay?
Will: Who's skinny?
Ice Tray: That Julie you went out with? She was skinny. She was so skinny, you could tie a rope around her head and use her like a tetherball pole.
Will: Hold it. Back to Stacy. Now, Stacy was so dumb.
Ice Tray: What?
Will: Do you know how dumb Stacy was?
Ice Tray: How dumb was Stacy?
Will: Stacy was so dumb that she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Okay, well, before we get started, I'd like to propose a toast. Tray, since this is your last night here, Vivian and I would just like to say that we're both extremely happy that Hilary has found that special someone, that special love. I can just see Hilary and Tray in their tiny little love nest in Philadelphia with the pitter-patter of five little Ice Cubes. Hilary changing diapers and preparing a lovely meal, while her loving husband is working his night job on the corner as a Korean Gucci bag representative. Hilary, this is for those wonderful years in Philadelphia.
Carlton: I guess I'll be driving home tonight.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Oh, poor homesick baby.
Philip: I have an idea, Vivian. If Will is that homesick, let's send him home.
Ashley: All he's been talking about is Philadelphia. I hope these Philadelphia cheese steaks cheer him up.
Philip: Personally, honey, I don't know what you and Will see in those vile concoctions.
Vivian: Which is why you only ate five of them?

Quote from Philip

Ashley: Oh, Will, we know you're homesick, so we got you something to cheer you up.
Will: Oh, wow. Thanks. Oh, thanks a lot. What is it?
Philip: It's a sandwich composed of cheese, steak, and a croissant de bouIanger from the Cafe Antoinette in Beverly Hills. It's a Philadelphia cheese steak, Will.
Will: Nice try, Uncle Phil, but this is not a Philadelphia cheese steak. See, look at the bag. No grease stain. If this were authentic, you could see right through the bag by now.
Philip: Well, I'm sorry you don't like it, Will. I'll dispose of it later.
Ashley: I'll throw it out.
Philip: I'll dispose of it, Ashley.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Wonderful. First Will, now Ashley. I can't wait till Ice Box gets here.
Will: No, it's Ice Tray, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Oh, Ice Tray. I apologize. Ice Box would be an idiotic name.
Will: Yeah, it would.

Quote from Will

Will: What's up with Smooth, Jocko, and O-Money?
Ice Tray: Oh, man, Smooth and Jocko got their own singing group now. And O-Money got his hair cut to look like the Chrysler Building.
Will: Yo, hey, that's good, though, man. That Mount Rushmore thing was not working.
Ice Tray: Oh, this is dope, man. I'm just going to kick back here for a few days, let somebody else do all the work.
Philip: Excuse me, young man. In this house, everyone carries his own weight.
Ice Tray: [looks to Will and then back at Phil] Too easy.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: It's nice to see you and Ice Tray getting along. I'm sorry he couldn't stay longer.
Hilary: Oh, don't worry, Mom, I've got it all figured out. He can come visit every other weekend. And then when the 10th grade lets out, he can come stay in the pool house, and Daddy can get him a job at the office.
Vivian: Well, what job could he possibly have in the law firm?
Hilary: I don't know. Lawyer? Anyways, Mom, don't worry. This is our problem, not yours. The only thing I want to say is thank you.
Vivian: For what?
Hilary: Well, you, like, saw right past his rough-tough exterior and you welcomed him into our home. I'm so proud of you, Mom. I just want to share my joy with you. I haven't been this happy since I bought my Giorgio Armani suit.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: That's it. I want him out of this house.
Philip: Oh, Vivian. Vivian, you're making the classic mistake. Don't you know that? I have the perfect solution for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick.
Vivian: You do?
Philip: My street savvy should not be taken lightly. She's rebelling against us.
Vivian: So?
Philip: So any hostility will only drive her closer to him. We have to embrace him, Vivian, welcome him into the family take him out for a nice meal, smother him with acceptance. Once the element of rebellion is gone, the relationship will lose its appeal.
Vivian: And what if that doesn't work?
Philip: Oh, it'll work.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Sir, Master Tray's all packed and ready to depart.
Philip: Excellent, Geoffrey. Let's afford him everything we can in getting him on his way.
Geoffrey: So, shall I call for a car, sir, or just shoot him out of a cannon?

Quote from Will

Vivian: No, you listen to me. Now, I can see why you like Ice Tray. He's a lot of fun. Everything's a joke to him. School, work, people. He doesn't care about anything.
Will: Yeah, well, he always managed to care about me.
Vivian: Well, I'm glad he's a good friend, but that doesn't change who he is. I'm sorry, but a young man his age should be able to do something else besides fight and jump fences.
Will: You weren't there.
Vivian: I know, but still-
Will: Look, when I was in seventh grade, every time I tried to bring books home from school, the kids would jump me, so Tray started walking me home. And if he hadn't been there to throw those punches and help me jump those fences then maybe I wouldn't be here.
Vivian: While he was busy protecting your books, where the hell were his?
Will: What's that got to do with anything?
Vivian: Will, I'm glad he cared so much about you. But why doesn't he care as much about himself?
Will: Because nobody was there for Tray. You ever think that if he hadn't been there to cover my back, maybe I wouldn't care about myself either.
Vivian: And that would be an awful waste.

Quote from Hilary

Ice Tray: Snap. I almost forgot. I got a little something for y'all.
Philip: That's our china dog.
Ice Tray: Yeah. I figured y'all were so nice to me and everything that I don't need it. [laughs] That was a joke. [to Hilary] Hey.
Hilary: Hey. You've become a part of my spirit that's never been touched before. I feel a oneness with you, and now that you're leaving I just have this sense that life will be empty, hollow, and meaningless.
Ice Tray: Well, peep this, babe. See, I have this first-class ticket. We could go down to the airport and trade it for two coach tickets and you could come back to Philly with me. What do you think?
Hilary: Coach?

Quote from Will

Will: You know where you get the best cheese steaks in Philly? Pat's Steaks on Passyunk Avenue. Me and my buddy Ice Tray used to go there every Friday. Man, we used to steal- I mean, we would enjoy them there often.
Ashley: Ice Tray? Isn't he the one you're always talking about?
Will: Did I ever tell you about the story in the middle of the winter, right? Ice Tray grabbed onto the back of a bus, right, and it was so cold, his face got stuck got stuck to the bus. And he was being dragged around the city, and he couldn't get off till he hit a bump on the Ben Franklin Bridge.
Philip: Well, that's a story we can all relate to.

Quote from Will

Will: Aunt Viv, this is going to be great. I can't wait to show him all the strange sights of L.A. I don't even know where to begin. I'll take him to Disneyland, to Marineland-
Hilary: [enters] Dad, I need $200.
Will: I'll take him to Hilaryland.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Ice Tray, we didn't hear you come in. Geoffrey, did you leave the door open?
Geoffrey: Well, no.
Vivian: I guess we must have left it unlocked.
Ice Tray: [as Geoffrey] "Well, no."
Will: You still got it, man.

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