Joy: Okay, Kitty, it's your turn. Pick a key.
Kitty: My gosh, there are so many, I can't tell which ones are ours.
Joy: Kitty, you don't pick your key because then you'd go home with your own husband. And who wants that?
Kitty: Oh, I, um... Me?
Joy: But the whole point of a key party is to meet new and interesting people and have sex with them.
Kitty: Oh, my God. You're swingers. Red, honey, it's time to leave.
Red: Now? I'm having a good time.
Kitty: Um, I left the iron on. And the stove. I left the iron on, on the stove which is also on. And that... It can't be safe.

Hyde: Man, this is so cool.
Kitty: Well, you are welcome, Steven. See, Eric, I told you I was cool.
Red: Eric, did you tell your mother that she's not cool?
Eric: What? Well-
Red: Well, stop telling your mother she's not cool.
Eric: Fine. Mom, you're super fly.
Kitty: Thanks, honey.

Eric: Well, I don't know about you but McHale's Navy makes me feel extra sexy.
Donna: Whatever.

Hyde: Hey, take it outside. I've got to do my homework, Frenchie.
Eric: [laughs] Good one. Now get out.
Hyde: No, I'm serious, ma. Your mom just found out I failed a test.
Donna: Did she yell at you?
Hyde: No, but she said she was really disappointed. And then, before I knew what I was doing, I told her I'd try harder.
Donna: No.
Hyde: Yeah.

Midge: [o.s.] Here's a crazy idea. Why don't you do the dishes, Bob?
Bob: Why don't I do the dishes? I work all day.
Midge: Well, I meditate all day.
Bob: Why don't you meditate over the sink and wash the dishes?
[Bob and Midge come into the living room]
Midge: Donna, will you tell your father he's a jackass?
Bob: Donna, your mother was fine until she met those feminists and started thinking.
Midge: Well, excuse me, Bob. But I'm not happy! [exits]
Bob: Really? Really? Well, I'm ecstatic! You better watch out, Eric. 'Cause it's all fun when you're making out on the couch, but then they get bigger and bitchier! Hey, no offense, honey.

Eric: You're not gonna get bitchier, are you?
Donna: Shut up.
Eric: Oh, no.

Red: I don't know, though, Bull. You know this thing's pretty hot. That jet just hit me right in the keister.
Bull: Yeah, believe it or not, some people like that. [Kitty laughs]
Red: Wanna ease back on the hooch there? You're getting a little loose.
Kitty: Oh, I am just happy. It's like a bath. Only it's outside. [laughs] It's fun!

Kitty: Okay, now, that was Bull on the phone and he has invited us to a party on Saturday night.
Red: Yeah?
Kitty: What's wrong?
Red: It's just that I look at what Bull has, and I look at what I have and I wonder if I made a few wrong turns, Kitty.
Kitty: Maybe you'll get a fresh start working for Bull.
Red: Yeah. I mean, I fought for my country. I deserve a Corvette. [Kitty laughs]

Kitty: Okay, here we all are. So, honey, how did you do on your history paper?
Eric: Well, history not being-
Kitty: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was talking to Steven.
Hyde: Well, I must say, all that studying really paid off.
Laurie: Oh, yeah? What did you get? A "D"?
Hyde: No. A "C" minus.
Kitty: Yay!
Red: Way to go.

Eric: I got a "B."
Red: You couldn't get an "A"?
Kitty: Honey, don't listen to your father. You did super. And, Steven, you did super-duper.
Eric: Why does he get a "duper"?
Red: Because we expect more from you.
Hyde: Give me a break, Forman. I don't have a mommy.