Kelso: Okay. You know what, I'm kind of in the way. I'm going to go next door, and maybe you can show Fez how to shoot. [whispers to Fez] Try to close the deal before she realizes you're a foreigner.
Fez: So, where do we start? I could rifle through the manual, but why don't you just give me the bullet points?
Suzy Simpson: Fez, I never joke about guns.
Fez: Oh... shoot. [laughs] I have no discipline.
Suzy Simpson: Okay. You're gonna just take aim and squeeze gently.
Fez: [speaks gibberish]
Suzy Simpson: Here, put these on and take a few shots. [Fez puts on ear defenders] I'm just going to go check on Michael so he's not alone.
Fez: Cologne? Oh, yeah, I mixed a bunch of different ones and, you know, I make my own scent.

Suzy Simpson: Hey, Michael. Do you want me to hold your shoulders while you shoot, or maybe square off your thighs?
Kelso: You know whose thighs need squaring off? Fez's. Yeah, bad. Oh, and by the way, he also told me that he thinks you're really nice.
Suzy Simpson: Oh, well, he's nice, too. And now that I can understand some of what he's saying, he's kind of charming. Oh, look, a rabbit. I love animals.
Kelso: You know who really loves animals? Fez.
Suzy Simpson: He does?
Kelso: Yeah. [gun shot]
Suzy Simpson: [gasps] The bunny!
Fez: I got dinner!

Eric: And then my dad actually gave me a compliment. "My son's a fine young man." That's, like, the most loving thing he's said to me since he told me that I could be worse.
Donna: Are you sure Red was talking about you? I mean, I love you, but you are a little high maintenance.
Jackie: And not in a good way like me.
Hyde: Remember when it took Red all summer to teach you how to catch a ball 'cause you were too scared of it?
Donna: First, Red had him look at a picture of a ball. Then he put him in a room with a ball. And then he moves him closer until he wasn't screaming being right next to the ball.
Jackie: What is so scary about a ball?
Eric: It's that... People throw it right at you, okay?

Eric: Oh, Dad. Uh, about what you said to the stress management guy. I just wanted to say thanks.
Red: Okay, okay. You said it. We're both embarrassed, now move along.
Eric: No, I mean, look, I could be a little less of a smart ass. And you're my father. Your life matters to me. So, anyway, Dad, I...
Red: Eric, If you say "I love you," my heart is going to explode.

Fez: Kelso. So, this is where you go after a hard day of screwing me over!
Kelso: All right, look, Fez, I'm really sorry.
Fez: Zip it, fool! You stole my girl. And I really need a girl.
Hyde: Here, Fez. You're probably going to want some personal time with the couch. I even plumped up the pillows for you.

Eric: Wow, Fez, it was so nice of you to make dinner for us.
Donna: Yeah, this is amazing.
Fez: Well, food always tastes better when it's fresh.
Donna: So, what is this, anyway?
Fez: Well, let's just say that the Easter Bunny came early this year, so I shot him.

Kelso: Hey, guys. This is my co-cadet at the Police Academy, Suzy Simpson. Simpson, these are my friends. Take a good look, 'cause you'll probably be arresting some of them in the future.
Suzy Simpson: You're right! This one looks like the guy in the "What Drugs Can Do to You" filmstrip.
Hyde: So you're a cop, huh? You don't look like a cop. You look kind of giggly.
Kelso: All right, Simpson needed to give me a ride home, 'cause I sprayed myself with mace to see what it'd feel like.
Eric: Hey, so, Suzy, which Charlie's Angel is your favorite? The brainy one? The sporty one? Or the one that just can't find a bra? Mine's the one that just can't find a bra.
Suzy Simpson: Charlie's Angels are an embarrassment to the badge. No real cop would last a day dressed like those sluts.
Jackie: Hey, those sluts are my heroes!
Kelso: Hey, thanks for giving me a ride, Simpson.
Sally Simpson: We back up our own.
Both: Point Place Police Corps Free Safe Streets!

Jackie: What's her problem with Charlie's Angels? Ugh, I bet she watches PBS.
Hyde: So you and Simpson been friends for almost two days now, huh? Isn't it about time you got her pregnant?
Kelso: No! It's different with me and Simpson. For the first time ever, I have a girl that's just a friend. Like, when Simpson talks, I actually listen instead of watching her boobs go up and down.
Donna: Kelso. You've finally gotten past the stage where you have to look at every woman's chest. Congratulations.
Kelso: Not exactly. I'm looking at yours right now. And may I say, congratulations to you.
Donna: You're such a perv. And thank you.

Suzy Simpson: All right, you clock this lady doing 38 in a 35 zone. Recite it and write it.
Kelso: License and registration, ma'am.
Suzy Simpson: Use the glasses, they're powerful. It's like a gun you wear on your face.
Kelso: Licence and registration, ma'am. Oh, that felt good. Guess what? I know someone who likes you and thinks that you're cute and smart and funny.
Suzy Simpson: Well, I think I know who you're talking about and I like him, too.
Kelso: Huh. Well, what do you like about him?
Suzy Simpson: I like how hot he looks sitting across from me in a blue t-shirt eating a hot dog.
Kelso: You just described me. [chuckles] Oh, crap.

Kelso: Hey, I was thinking maybe tomorrow you could help me brush up on my target practice.
Suzy Simpson: It's a date.
Kelso: Yeah, I'd be there, you'd be there...
Suzy Simpson: On a date.
Kelso: So, I'll see you at the shooting range.
Suzy Simpson: For our date.